You are Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command)
You love your significant other and
you are a tough cookie when in a conflict.
Click here to take the "Which Serenity character are you?" quiz...
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Firefly, We Hardly Knew Ya...
You are Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command)
You love your significant other and
you are a tough cookie when in a conflict.
Click here to take the "Which Serenity character are you?" quiz...
Monday, March 26, 2007
Well, duh...
Drama, Musician and Gamer run pretty neck and neck and neck.
| What Be Your Nerd Type? Your Result: Drama Nerd You sure do love the spotlight and probably have a very out-going and loud personality. Or not. That's just a stereotype, of course. Participation in the theatre is something to be very proud of. Whether you have a great voice for musicals, or astounding skills for dramas/comedies; keep up the good work. We need more entertainment these days that isn't television and video games (not that these things are bad, necessarily.) | |
| Literature Nerd | |
| Musician | |
| Gamer/Computer Nerd | |
| Social Nerd | |
| Artistic Nerd | |
| Science/Math Nerd | |
| Anime Nerd | |
| What Be Your Nerd Type? Quizzes for MySpace | |
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Kate, Kate, Bo-bate! Banana-fanna, Fo-fate!
Anyone who can identify the quote in my blog post title gets brownie points.
I am very happy to be identified as Kate, since I've always LOVED this character and Elizabeth Taylor's performance (as pictured) with Richard Burton.
I'm also very happy that I haven't completely forgotten all of my HTML knowledge and was able to troubleshoot and fix the code. There was a problem with the text not showing up. Oh, yeah. I'm good!
I am very happy to be identified as Kate, since I've always LOVED this character and Elizabeth Taylor's performance (as pictured) with Richard Burton.
I'm also very happy that I haven't completely forgotten all of my HTML knowledge and was able to troubleshoot and fix the code. There was a problem with the text not showing up. Oh, yeah. I'm good!
| Which Shakespearian Leading Lady are You? Katherine: The Taming Of The Shrew You are a woman to be reckoned with. You are not only strong willed but are extremely emotionally involved as well. This combination is volatile and could lead to violence. Nothing standing between you and your wants is acceptable. Therefore, it is important to remember the difference between wants and needs. As Kate inevitably does, channel your energies into a healthy relationship. Play with your partner; you’re the master at it anyway! |
| Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests. |
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
The Cat's Out of the Bag
I've been waiting to post this for a couple of weeks. It had taken so long to get what I wanted and needed that I was afraid I'd jinx it with a premature announcement. So without further ado...
I got a job. A good one. A real, honest-to-goodness, regular full-time employee type job with decent pay, good commute, great co-workers, casual atmosphere, and nice benefits. A job where people say please and thank you. A job where my boss doesn't track me with a stop watch and asks for my opinion. A company that's been around for 33 years and grown exponentially in the last 10. A company that has employees celebrating 25-year anniversaries.
And I even like the work.
I'm a Technical Writer / Trainer in Product Development for a Twin Cities-based incentives company. In a nut shell, my company helps other companies keep employees feeling happy and appreciated through incentives and loyalty programs.
More later. I'm still writing freelance on the side occasionally and I'm up late tonight to meet a deadline.
'night, all...
I got a job. A good one. A real, honest-to-goodness, regular full-time employee type job with decent pay, good commute, great co-workers, casual atmosphere, and nice benefits. A job where people say please and thank you. A job where my boss doesn't track me with a stop watch and asks for my opinion. A company that's been around for 33 years and grown exponentially in the last 10. A company that has employees celebrating 25-year anniversaries.
And I even like the work.
I'm a Technical Writer / Trainer in Product Development for a Twin Cities-based incentives company. In a nut shell, my company helps other companies keep employees feeling happy and appreciated through incentives and loyalty programs.
More later. I'm still writing freelance on the side occasionally and I'm up late tonight to meet a deadline.
'night, all...
Saturday, March 10, 2007
One Brief, Shining Moment... It Ain't
The most recent revival of Camelot at the Ordway in Saint Paul was the victim of a school yard bully: pushed in the mud, nose bloodied, snicker-snagged on... and had its lunch money taken away.
One look at the the masterminds behind this desecration of classic American musical theater and we can see why. The book for this production has been "reimagined" by Michael Lerner, son of the original lyricist Alan Jay Lerner, for a contemporary audience. Gone are musical numbers "The Jousts", "Fie on Goodness", and "I Loved You Once in Silence". "Guenevere", that tells the tale of Lancelot's escape, Guenevere's trial and sentence, Arthur's heartbreak, and the destruction of the Round Table has been virtually reduced to a chorus of 6 voices and 60 seconds of everyone running about.
Scenes have been swapped around. Songs moved or removed. Lines added or changed. New one-liners dropped in to lighten the tone of the second act. Old jokes, that may be offensive to our more enlightened modern tastes (read: whiney-ass cry-babies without a sense of humor) have been cut and replaced with awkward, apologetic comments.
Does Michael Lerner actually have a background in daddy's grand profession? Oh, no! This is his FIRST theatrical attempt. Prior to this he was a foreign correspondent for Newsweek magazine. No joke.
Michael's sister, Liza Lerner, is the Producer. And - who'd have guessed it - this is the FIRST show she's ever produced! What's the daughter of an American theater icon been doing for a living? She's the president of her own interior design firm. That explains the just-passable sets and the what-were-they-thinking costume choices.
From the moment the curtain rose, I knew we were in trouble as a young lad in silhouette rushed onto the stage and pulls a sword from a stone. I guess they had to remind us what show we came to see.
Then there's Michael York. Yup. There he is. An accomplished actor whose career spans over 40 years of stage and screen. And he was awful. I mean, really awful. Instead of a powerful but thoughtful and tragic king, we get an amiable, oafish Wart. York takes the man who never intended to be king, and runs with that interp through the entire show. Flat, one-note, and lifelessly mellow, Arthur bumbles bemusedly through most of the darkest moments of the play like a Zoloft-addicted koala bear.
Poor acting choices aside, York's physicality was completely distracting. We've all seen amateur actors who pose or have no clue as to what do with their hands to make their movement look natural. All night, York's elbows seemed to be tied to his waist in some sort of constant rock'em-sock'em-robot pattern of gestures. What's almost worse, is that he was the only actor on stage doing it. If I hadn't known better, I'd have said that this was opening night or his first stage show after years of film, but that's not the case. It was just sadly disappointing.
Rachel York, however, was surprisingly stunning. Her Guenevere had a vitality and intelligence often missing from this ingenue role from the moment she set foot on stage. James Barbour, in the role of Lancelot, lended his sonorous voice and musical theater acting chops to a role too often portrayed as a simple, self-centered, religious fanatic. Add in Time Winter's endearing Pellinore and Eric Anderson's pagan Merlyn, and you have several talented performers hog-tied into a frighteningly-disastrous train wreck aimed right at the terrified and unsuspecting audience.
We won't even get into the silliest dance move for knights a-may-ing -- ever, Lancelot's silver lame' go-go boots, nuance-nullifying amplified sound, the joust cut to a 2/3 version sword fight, a faster tempo for every tune, turning a classic tragedy into an upbeat romp for the the text-messaging generation, or the thoroughly uninspired blocking and stage pictures.
I mean, wow. This was a stinker. Ever seen audience members walk out of the middle of performances at the Ordway?
I did.
Yes. It was that bad.
We listened to one of the Richard Harris versions on CD in the car. Popped in the DVD of the 1967 film version when we got home. Ordered the 1982 Showtime version from Amazon before we went to bed. Had to get the bad taste out of our mouths.
I love Camelot and I have for years. I've read "The Once and Future King" by T.S. White many times and even Malory's "Le Morte d'Arthur". I don't want my children's only exposure to this timeless tale to be this butchered travesty. Time to right the wrongs before they end up in therapy.
* out of * * * * *
One look at the the masterminds behind this desecration of classic American musical theater and we can see why. The book for this production has been "reimagined" by Michael Lerner, son of the original lyricist Alan Jay Lerner, for a contemporary audience. Gone are musical numbers "The Jousts", "Fie on Goodness", and "I Loved You Once in Silence". "Guenevere", that tells the tale of Lancelot's escape, Guenevere's trial and sentence, Arthur's heartbreak, and the destruction of the Round Table has been virtually reduced to a chorus of 6 voices and 60 seconds of everyone running about.
Scenes have been swapped around. Songs moved or removed. Lines added or changed. New one-liners dropped in to lighten the tone of the second act. Old jokes, that may be offensive to our more enlightened modern tastes (read: whiney-ass cry-babies without a sense of humor) have been cut and replaced with awkward, apologetic comments.
Does Michael Lerner actually have a background in daddy's grand profession? Oh, no! This is his FIRST theatrical attempt. Prior to this he was a foreign correspondent for Newsweek magazine. No joke.
Michael's sister, Liza Lerner, is the Producer. And - who'd have guessed it - this is the FIRST show she's ever produced! What's the daughter of an American theater icon been doing for a living? She's the president of her own interior design firm. That explains the just-passable sets and the what-were-they-thinking costume choices.
From the moment the curtain rose, I knew we were in trouble as a young lad in silhouette rushed onto the stage and pulls a sword from a stone. I guess they had to remind us what show we came to see.
Then there's Michael York. Yup. There he is. An accomplished actor whose career spans over 40 years of stage and screen. And he was awful. I mean, really awful. Instead of a powerful but thoughtful and tragic king, we get an amiable, oafish Wart. York takes the man who never intended to be king, and runs with that interp through the entire show. Flat, one-note, and lifelessly mellow, Arthur bumbles bemusedly through most of the darkest moments of the play like a Zoloft-addicted koala bear.
Poor acting choices aside, York's physicality was completely distracting. We've all seen amateur actors who pose or have no clue as to what do with their hands to make their movement look natural. All night, York's elbows seemed to be tied to his waist in some sort of constant rock'em-sock'em-robot pattern of gestures. What's almost worse, is that he was the only actor on stage doing it. If I hadn't known better, I'd have said that this was opening night or his first stage show after years of film, but that's not the case. It was just sadly disappointing.
Rachel York, however, was surprisingly stunning. Her Guenevere had a vitality and intelligence often missing from this ingenue role from the moment she set foot on stage. James Barbour, in the role of Lancelot, lended his sonorous voice and musical theater acting chops to a role too often portrayed as a simple, self-centered, religious fanatic. Add in Time Winter's endearing Pellinore and Eric Anderson's pagan Merlyn, and you have several talented performers hog-tied into a frighteningly-disastrous train wreck aimed right at the terrified and unsuspecting audience.
We won't even get into the silliest dance move for knights a-may-ing -- ever, Lancelot's silver lame' go-go boots, nuance-nullifying amplified sound, the joust cut to a 2/3 version sword fight, a faster tempo for every tune, turning a classic tragedy into an upbeat romp for the the text-messaging generation, or the thoroughly uninspired blocking and stage pictures.
I mean, wow. This was a stinker. Ever seen audience members walk out of the middle of performances at the Ordway?
I did.
Yes. It was that bad.
We listened to one of the Richard Harris versions on CD in the car. Popped in the DVD of the 1967 film version when we got home. Ordered the 1982 Showtime version from Amazon before we went to bed. Had to get the bad taste out of our mouths.
I love Camelot and I have for years. I've read "The Once and Future King" by T.S. White many times and even Malory's "Le Morte d'Arthur". I don't want my children's only exposure to this timeless tale to be this butchered travesty. Time to right the wrongs before they end up in therapy.
* out of * * * * *
Friday, March 09, 2007
Whiskey or Beer?
You scored as Irish.
Which European nationality should you have been? created with QuizFarm.com |
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Skiing and a Show
Yesterday was a good day.
Made a tremendous dent in the laundry pile and got a respectable amount of sorting and putting away of stuff in the bedrooms.
When the kids came home, we'd planned to hit cheap night at the movies to see "The Astronaut Farmer". Since the next showing was still three hours away, Avindair and I went over to Pioneer Midwest in Osseo to finally get me my very own cross country ski set! I'd been renting for 1-1/2 seasons, and it was time to make the leap. We got in on their fantastic seasonal clearance sale - most items 40% off or more - and the staff was friendly and knowledgeable.
After the purchase, we had just enough time to grab a quick dinner, change into all of the new gear and hit the trails at Elm Creek Park Reserve. What a difference! Let it be known that I am not a talented cross country skier, but I am determined. With the rental skis I essentially trudged all 2.5 k. With the new, light, waxed skis, the trail was half the work with twice the fun. So worth it!
Since I didn't have to take the time for ski rental pick up and drop off, we got home with half an hour to spare before the movie. We had plenty of time to get changed, load the NerdPod into the NerdVan, and make it to the theater.
"The Astronaut Farmer", starring Billy Bob Thornton and Virginia Madsen, is one of those feel-good films you can take everyone to see. Charles Farmer, an aeronautical engineer, Air Force pilot, and space program candidate, is forced to give up his dreams of going into space to due to a tragic family event. He spends the next decade building his own rocket, and enlists the help of his wife and kids to make his dreams come true. A great, warm-hearted family film, "The Astronaut Farmer" is one of determination, inspiration, and love. The science is iffy, but it's the story that will draw you in. Want a movie that you can walk away from with a smile? "The Astronaut Farmer" is the one to see.
Not a bad day. Not a bad day, at all...
Made a tremendous dent in the laundry pile and got a respectable amount of sorting and putting away of stuff in the bedrooms.
When the kids came home, we'd planned to hit cheap night at the movies to see "The Astronaut Farmer". Since the next showing was still three hours away, Avindair and I went over to Pioneer Midwest in Osseo to finally get me my very own cross country ski set! I'd been renting for 1-1/2 seasons, and it was time to make the leap. We got in on their fantastic seasonal clearance sale - most items 40% off or more - and the staff was friendly and knowledgeable.
After the purchase, we had just enough time to grab a quick dinner, change into all of the new gear and hit the trails at Elm Creek Park Reserve. What a difference! Let it be known that I am not a talented cross country skier, but I am determined. With the rental skis I essentially trudged all 2.5 k. With the new, light, waxed skis, the trail was half the work with twice the fun. So worth it!
Since I didn't have to take the time for ski rental pick up and drop off, we got home with half an hour to spare before the movie. We had plenty of time to get changed, load the NerdPod into the NerdVan, and make it to the theater.
"The Astronaut Farmer", starring Billy Bob Thornton and Virginia Madsen, is one of those feel-good films you can take everyone to see. Charles Farmer, an aeronautical engineer, Air Force pilot, and space program candidate, is forced to give up his dreams of going into space to due to a tragic family event. He spends the next decade building his own rocket, and enlists the help of his wife and kids to make his dreams come true. A great, warm-hearted family film, "The Astronaut Farmer" is one of determination, inspiration, and love. The science is iffy, but it's the story that will draw you in. Want a movie that you can walk away from with a smile? "The Astronaut Farmer" is the one to see.
Not a bad day. Not a bad day, at all...
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Anita Blake, Vampire Boinker
Our friend Saveau introduced us to the world of Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter back in 2002. Until then, with the exception of Buffy, most vampire hunters in popular media were old men who carried leather satchels filled with wooden stakes. Laurell K. Hamilton's heroine was a natural-born necromancer with flowing, raven hair, a penchant for penguins, and the kind of acerbic wit that could strip the paint from a Sherman tank.
After only a few pages into "Guilty Pleasures" (1994), I was hooked. Anita Blake was tough, funny, and real. Well, as real as a necromancer / vampire hunter could be.
Book by book, I devoured the prose... but with each one I became a little more disturbed. The books I had admired for their unique take on the genre had turned into not much more than ultra-violent porn with a paper-thin plot. After "Narcissus in Chains" I just couldn't take it any more. Even though I continued to recommend the first few books to friends and co-workers, in 2004 I stopped reading the Anita Blake series altogether.
Until the fall of 2006.
By chance I learned that Laurell K. Hamilton was doing a book signing at The Source, our favorite nerd store in the Twin Cities. I wasn't sure I was that interested in going. Yes, I had loved her early books. Yes, Anita had even been an inspiration for my own character of Cassie Banning in our own low-budget movies with Stone Soup Films. After a little back-and-forth, we decided that Avindair could personally hand over a copy of our latest effort, Pray for Daylight to Laurell K. herself. What the hell.
I brought my very first copy of "Guilty Pleasures" for Laurell to sign. Thought we would be in and out of there. "Hey, Laurell! I liked Anita before she became Anita Blake, Monster Fucker. Thanks for signing the book. Here's out movie. Bye!" Nice and straight forward.
I just didn't expect that she and her husband, Gary, would be so... well.. nice!
So... I bought another book. For the record, I made a mistake. I thought I owned "Cerulean Sins", but hadn't yet read it, so I purchased "Incubus Dreams". As it turned out, I was wrong, but buoyed by listening to Laurell K. speak, I decided to give it a go.
Bad call, Ripley. Bad call.
I really wanted to like this book. I really, really wanted to like it. I liked Laurell K. -- very nice lady, very entertaining to listen to. I liked her husband. He and I chatted about Spiderman and Venom and being geeks.
Sadly, it was not meant to be, Cheri.
It isn't just that Anita's life has become a tangled metaphysical web, though that's ridiculously bad all by itself. The original novels gave us an Anita who was kick-ass and no-nonsense with a dash of humor thrown in. The story was the focus and the romance was secondary to the main plot. "Incubus Dreams", by contrast, was 20 pages of plot, followed by 600 pages of heavy breathing. When I finally made it back to the original plot, I'd forgotten what the freaking story was about. All I knew is that Anita had sex approximately 5000 times in 3 days, had spilled 1/2 of the blood in her veins, and could still walk upright enough to execute a few vampires.
Okay. Maybe she didn't have sex 5000 times, but if I read the word ardeur again I was going to be metaphysically ill. And remember, Anita only had sex with all of these vampires and wereanimals because she had to. If she didn't, the world (or at least St Louis) would be overrun with EVIL.
That's right, folks, Anita was, in fact, boinking to save lives.
How do I know she was saving lives? Because we were reminded each and every time with exchanges that usually went something like this:
I think what this book lacked was a really good round of editing. There are many, many... ugh... many passages in "Incubus Dreams" that could have been cut altogether. Characters have conversations in which they go over the same point with only slightly different wording, several times. Anita's exposition needlessly over-explains many scenes, new characters are laboriously introduced but never actually used or developed, other critical characters pop up out of the blue. The Anita Blake series, as a whole, is suffering from its success. It's the best-selling, 800-lb gorilla of the vampire action / romance sub-genre. "Incubus Dreams" is so over-written,I wouldn't be surprised if it only went through spellchecker before it went out to the printer.
Why, oh why, did I finish "Incubus Dreams" if I disliked it so much? Why did I spend precious hours of my life reading this thinly veiled romance novel? To paraphrase Khan, "It tasks me. It tasks me and I shall have it!"
Only pick up "Incubus Dreams" if you're a fan of vampire / wereanimal porn. For those who are still interested I won't ruin the ending for you. Not that you have much to worry about there. Believe me, there's not much of an ending to ruin.
Okay, If you'd like a clue as to how it all resolves, three words should do it:
"Wheel of Time".
Everyone else? Avoid it completely and go back to read the first three or four books of the series.
Incubus Dreams
* out of *****
Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter Novels:
Guilty Pleasures 1994
Laughing Corpse 1994
Circus of the Damned 1995
The Lunatic Cafe 1995
Bloody Bones 1996
Killing Dance 1997
Burnt Offerings 1998
Blue Moon 1998
Obsidian Butterfly 2000
Narcissus in Chains 2001
Cerulean Sins 2003
Incubus Dreams 2004
Micah 2006
Danse Macabre 2006
The Harlequin 2007
After only a few pages into "Guilty Pleasures" (1994), I was hooked. Anita Blake was tough, funny, and real. Well, as real as a necromancer / vampire hunter could be.
Book by book, I devoured the prose... but with each one I became a little more disturbed. The books I had admired for their unique take on the genre had turned into not much more than ultra-violent porn with a paper-thin plot. After "Narcissus in Chains" I just couldn't take it any more. Even though I continued to recommend the first few books to friends and co-workers, in 2004 I stopped reading the Anita Blake series altogether.
Until the fall of 2006.
By chance I learned that Laurell K. Hamilton was doing a book signing at The Source, our favorite nerd store in the Twin Cities. I wasn't sure I was that interested in going. Yes, I had loved her early books. Yes, Anita had even been an inspiration for my own character of Cassie Banning in our own low-budget movies with Stone Soup Films. After a little back-and-forth, we decided that Avindair could personally hand over a copy of our latest effort, Pray for Daylight to Laurell K. herself. What the hell.
I brought my very first copy of "Guilty Pleasures" for Laurell to sign. Thought we would be in and out of there. "Hey, Laurell! I liked Anita before she became Anita Blake, Monster Fucker. Thanks for signing the book. Here's out movie. Bye!" Nice and straight forward.
I just didn't expect that she and her husband, Gary, would be so... well.. nice!
So... I bought another book. For the record, I made a mistake. I thought I owned "Cerulean Sins", but hadn't yet read it, so I purchased "Incubus Dreams". As it turned out, I was wrong, but buoyed by listening to Laurell K. speak, I decided to give it a go.
Bad call, Ripley. Bad call.
I really wanted to like this book. I really, really wanted to like it. I liked Laurell K. -- very nice lady, very entertaining to listen to. I liked her husband. He and I chatted about Spiderman and Venom and being geeks.
Sadly, it was not meant to be, Cheri.
It isn't just that Anita's life has become a tangled metaphysical web, though that's ridiculously bad all by itself. The original novels gave us an Anita who was kick-ass and no-nonsense with a dash of humor thrown in. The story was the focus and the romance was secondary to the main plot. "Incubus Dreams", by contrast, was 20 pages of plot, followed by 600 pages of heavy breathing. When I finally made it back to the original plot, I'd forgotten what the freaking story was about. All I knew is that Anita had sex approximately 5000 times in 3 days, had spilled 1/2 of the blood in her veins, and could still walk upright enough to execute a few vampires.
Okay. Maybe she didn't have sex 5000 times, but if I read the word ardeur again I was going to be metaphysically ill. And remember, Anita only had sex with all of these vampires and wereanimals because she had to. If she didn't, the world (or at least St Louis) would be overrun with EVIL.
That's right, folks, Anita was, in fact, boinking to save lives.
How do I know she was saving lives? Because we were reminded each and every time with exchanges that usually went something like this:
Jean-Claude
Ma petite, you must feed the ardeur or all is lost.
Anita
No, Jean-Claude. I'm not going to have sex with any of these incredibly hot male-stripper vampires and wereleopards, and werewolves, and werebunnies with ripped muscles, enormous schlongs, and luxuriously long hair that they all grow down to their ankles. It's just wrong!
Jean-Claude
I understand, ma petite, but if you do not, Damien will die. And Nathaniel will die. And Micah will die. And Richard will die. And I will die. And no one will be here to protect people, or the good vampires, or the wereanimals, and... and... there will be chocolate in the peanut butter and peanut butter in the chocolate... and...
Anita
No.
Jean-Claude
Please?
Anita
I said no.
Jean-Claude
Pretty please?
Anita
Oh, okay.
Ma petite, you must feed the ardeur or all is lost.
Anita
No, Jean-Claude. I'm not going to have sex with any of these incredibly hot male-stripper vampires and wereleopards, and werewolves, and werebunnies with ripped muscles, enormous schlongs, and luxuriously long hair that they all grow down to their ankles. It's just wrong!
Jean-Claude
I understand, ma petite, but if you do not, Damien will die. And Nathaniel will die. And Micah will die. And Richard will die. And I will die. And no one will be here to protect people, or the good vampires, or the wereanimals, and... and... there will be chocolate in the peanut butter and peanut butter in the chocolate... and...
Anita
No.
Jean-Claude
Please?
Anita
I said no.
Jean-Claude
Pretty please?
Anita
Oh, okay.
I think what this book lacked was a really good round of editing. There are many, many... ugh... many passages in "Incubus Dreams" that could have been cut altogether. Characters have conversations in which they go over the same point with only slightly different wording, several times. Anita's exposition needlessly over-explains many scenes, new characters are laboriously introduced but never actually used or developed, other critical characters pop up out of the blue. The Anita Blake series, as a whole, is suffering from its success. It's the best-selling, 800-lb gorilla of the vampire action / romance sub-genre. "Incubus Dreams" is so over-written,I wouldn't be surprised if it only went through spellchecker before it went out to the printer.
Why, oh why, did I finish "Incubus Dreams" if I disliked it so much? Why did I spend precious hours of my life reading this thinly veiled romance novel? To paraphrase Khan, "It tasks me. It tasks me and I shall have it!"
Only pick up "Incubus Dreams" if you're a fan of vampire / wereanimal porn. For those who are still interested I won't ruin the ending for you. Not that you have much to worry about there. Believe me, there's not much of an ending to ruin.
Okay, If you'd like a clue as to how it all resolves, three words should do it:
"Wheel of Time".
Everyone else? Avoid it completely and go back to read the first three or four books of the series.
Incubus Dreams
* out of *****
Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter Novels:
Guilty Pleasures 1994
Laughing Corpse 1994
Circus of the Damned 1995
The Lunatic Cafe 1995
Bloody Bones 1996
Killing Dance 1997
Burnt Offerings 1998
Blue Moon 1998
Obsidian Butterfly 2000
Narcissus in Chains 2001
Cerulean Sins 2003
Incubus Dreams 2004
Micah 2006
Danse Macabre 2006
The Harlequin 2007
Friday, February 23, 2007
WARNING: "GHOST RIDER" SPOILERS AHEAD
"This looks like fun."
I sat back at my desk, browsing the latest movie reviews in the Star Tribune.
"Okay, definitely cheesy fun, but what the hell?"
Today was a good day. Avindair had arrived home before lunch. He'd just finished his final hours at his current, now former, writing gig. I'd been lounging and browsing the Web most of the morning, enjoying a few days off before the start of my new job.
"Wanna see a movie?"
Over the years, Avindair and I have made an occasional habit out of Friday afternoon hooky movies. Spirits were high with our recent good fortune, and we were in the mood for one of those silly, unpretentious rides through the magic of cinema -- and the kids would be at school for at least another four hours. I'd read Colin Covert's review of Ghost Rider: "... a fun little jaunt", "... sly sense of camp". Ghost Rider certainly looked as though it fit the bill.
A few minutes later, there we sat. Tickets, overpriced hot dogs, and sodas that would fill a well in a third world nation in hand. At first, we were the only ones in the theater.
"Wow! Our own private screening of a Nicholas Cage movie!"
Yes. That was sarcasm. It's true, we didn't expect much from seeing the trailers:
1. Flamey motorcycle riding
2. CGI effects
3. Gratuitous Nick Cage eyebrow raising
4. Gratuitous Sam Elliot cowboy squinting
5. Gratuitous Peter Fonda forehead gleaming
We settled in, eager to create our own Joel and the 'bots experience. Unfortunately, a few stragglers eventually filled a total of five more seats. Damn. We'd have to be content with whispered and silent giggles.
Oh, man. Did we underestimate this fetid pile of celluloid.
Johnny Blaze (Nicolas Cage) is a carnival stunt rider who, at a tender age, unintentionally sells his soul to save the life of his dying father. As usual, that bad old Mephistopheles has a few tricks up his sleeve. Johnny wakes the next morning to find Dad in perfect health, happier than he's been in years, and on his way to do his first stunt performance of the day. At this point, Avindair and I simultaneously waved bye-bye to Daddy Blaze. Might as well have painted a target on his forehead and renamed the character "Dead Meat".
Years later, after the tragic demise of Dea... uh... I mean, Daddy Blaze, Johnny is a famous stunt rider (a la Evel Knievel). After much lip-pursing and eyebrow raising, Johnny meets up with his long-lost love, Roxanne, woodenly portrayed by the ballon-breasted Eva Mendes.
Wooden, I guess, except for her breasts... which, I believe, had their own listing in the credits. Every time Eva had a costume change, you'd see more of her heaving bosom and the delicate little cross that said, "I'm a nice girl. Really!" Either Nick Cage or the editors get brownie points for never catching Johnny's eyes trained squarely on her cleavage.
Scene 1 Eva - the plucky former-girlfriend turned TV journalist: Unbelievably tight grey dress
Scene 2 Eva - the ditched, drunken, and disappointed former-girlfriend: Low cut, black spaghetti strap dress, push-up bra
Scene 3 Eva - the concerned, curious former-girlfriend: Unbelievably tight white blouse with load-bearing top button at nipple-height, and artfully displayed peek at bra
Scene 4 Eva - the blandly determined and satanically endangered former-girlfriend: Laughably low-cut blouse and boobs pushed together... just below the afore-mentioned gold cross... cause she's really an innocent, good girl
Back to the plot.
Oh, who's kidding? There WAS no plot. Things just... sorta happened.
Eventually, Mephi gets around to making good (or bad) on Johnny's contract. Johnny is tasked with finding Mephi's juvenile deliquent son, Blackheart, and sending he and his elemental demon gang back to hell. So in truth, Ghost Rider is more like Satan's truant officer than the Devil's bounty hunter.
Through lingering CGI that is far too impressed with itself ("We paid for these effects and we're going to show them, dammit!"), uninspired cinematography, and poorly edited scenes, Johnny eventually finds his mentor, the Caretaker (Sam Elliot). Although Johnny doesn't realize it, the Caretaker is actually the former Rider, who escaped Mephi's grasp 150 years before with a contract for 1000 uncollected souls of unimaginable eeeeevil and lives on the hallowed ground of the cemetery for his protection.
Never mind the little plot gaffe of how Blackheart was able to go into a church, light candles, and threaten a priest, but couldn't step foot in a cemetery to take a piece of paper from an old cowboy.
Things happen. Elemental demon gang gets sent home. Former little wooden girlfriend gets mildly threatened by Satan's petulant goth spawn. The Caretaker has his last pyrotechnic ride. Ghost Rider saves the world and pisses off Mephi. The end.
I knew this would be a cheese-fest walking in the door. I just didn't expect it to be this bad. After all, writer / director / producer Mark Steven Johnson made Daredevil. Not an Academy Award winner, but a fun, superhero flick in the guity-pleasure genre. Then again, he also made Elektra.
Good Points:
- Sam Elliot. True, he's pretty much the same character in everything he does and this was yet another case of cookie-cutter typecasting, I couldn't imagine anyone else in the role. One of the few believable performances.
- Donal Logue. The other believable performance. I was genuinely pissed off when his character died.
- Seed of plot premise. The Ghost Rider comics didn't exactly have an established, cohesive origin story. Kid selling his soul to save dad was believable.
- I liked the plot's use of the "Penance Stare" power, even though the effect itself went on too long.
- Great scene with Johnny in jail. Actually elicited a few enthusiastic YEAH's from Avindair and me.
- Scenes between Nick and Sam were some of the best in the film; even the purely CGI "Riders" sequence near the end.
Bad Points:
- There were only two reasons for Eva Mendez to be in this film, and I think we all know what they were. I haven't seen a performance this bad since Thora Birch as the Empress Savina in "Dungeons and Dragons". PLEASE! Someone tell me this woman will never make another talkie again!
- I'm all for cleavage, but Eva's plunging neckline became ridiculous. I actually laughed out loud.
- Plot holes! Why could Blackheart be in a church but not in the cemetery? Why could the Caretaker only ride one more time and how did he know that? What happened to him at the end of the film? When Daddy Devil has millions of souls at his disposal, what would it matter if his son picked up 1000? That's a threat? What the hell made THESE particular souls so especially eeeeevil?
- Bad, bad writing. Really bad dialogue.
- Poor acting. At least most of the cast had an excuse, but Nick Cage, shame on you. The CGI Ghost Rider had more expression.
My recommendation: Only watch this film to get the bad taste of Cat Woman or The Hulk out of your mouth. Rent the DVD, get boozed up, and put away all solid objects that can be thrown. Your television will thank you.
*****
I give it a 2 out of 5.
I sat back at my desk, browsing the latest movie reviews in the Star Tribune.
"Okay, definitely cheesy fun, but what the hell?"
Today was a good day. Avindair had arrived home before lunch. He'd just finished his final hours at his current, now former, writing gig. I'd been lounging and browsing the Web most of the morning, enjoying a few days off before the start of my new job.
"Wanna see a movie?"
Over the years, Avindair and I have made an occasional habit out of Friday afternoon hooky movies. Spirits were high with our recent good fortune, and we were in the mood for one of those silly, unpretentious rides through the magic of cinema -- and the kids would be at school for at least another four hours. I'd read Colin Covert's review of Ghost Rider: "... a fun little jaunt", "... sly sense of camp". Ghost Rider certainly looked as though it fit the bill.
A few minutes later, there we sat. Tickets, overpriced hot dogs, and sodas that would fill a well in a third world nation in hand. At first, we were the only ones in the theater.
"Wow! Our own private screening of a Nicholas Cage movie!"
Yes. That was sarcasm. It's true, we didn't expect much from seeing the trailers:
1. Flamey motorcycle riding
2. CGI effects
3. Gratuitous Nick Cage eyebrow raising
4. Gratuitous Sam Elliot cowboy squinting
5. Gratuitous Peter Fonda forehead gleaming
We settled in, eager to create our own Joel and the 'bots experience. Unfortunately, a few stragglers eventually filled a total of five more seats. Damn. We'd have to be content with whispered and silent giggles.
Oh, man. Did we underestimate this fetid pile of celluloid.
Johnny Blaze (Nicolas Cage) is a carnival stunt rider who, at a tender age, unintentionally sells his soul to save the life of his dying father. As usual, that bad old Mephistopheles has a few tricks up his sleeve. Johnny wakes the next morning to find Dad in perfect health, happier than he's been in years, and on his way to do his first stunt performance of the day. At this point, Avindair and I simultaneously waved bye-bye to Daddy Blaze. Might as well have painted a target on his forehead and renamed the character "Dead Meat".
Years later, after the tragic demise of Dea... uh... I mean, Daddy Blaze, Johnny is a famous stunt rider (a la Evel Knievel). After much lip-pursing and eyebrow raising, Johnny meets up with his long-lost love, Roxanne, woodenly portrayed by the ballon-breasted Eva Mendes.
Wooden, I guess, except for her breasts... which, I believe, had their own listing in the credits. Every time Eva had a costume change, you'd see more of her heaving bosom and the delicate little cross that said, "I'm a nice girl. Really!" Either Nick Cage or the editors get brownie points for never catching Johnny's eyes trained squarely on her cleavage.
Scene 1 Eva - the plucky former-girlfriend turned TV journalist: Unbelievably tight grey dress
Scene 2 Eva - the ditched, drunken, and disappointed former-girlfriend: Low cut, black spaghetti strap dress, push-up bra
Scene 3 Eva - the concerned, curious former-girlfriend: Unbelievably tight white blouse with load-bearing top button at nipple-height, and artfully displayed peek at bra
Scene 4 Eva - the blandly determined and satanically endangered former-girlfriend: Laughably low-cut blouse and boobs pushed together... just below the afore-mentioned gold cross... cause she's really an innocent, good girl
Back to the plot.
Oh, who's kidding? There WAS no plot. Things just... sorta happened.
Eventually, Mephi gets around to making good (or bad) on Johnny's contract. Johnny is tasked with finding Mephi's juvenile deliquent son, Blackheart, and sending he and his elemental demon gang back to hell. So in truth, Ghost Rider is more like Satan's truant officer than the Devil's bounty hunter.
Through lingering CGI that is far too impressed with itself ("We paid for these effects and we're going to show them, dammit!"), uninspired cinematography, and poorly edited scenes, Johnny eventually finds his mentor, the Caretaker (Sam Elliot). Although Johnny doesn't realize it, the Caretaker is actually the former Rider, who escaped Mephi's grasp 150 years before with a contract for 1000 uncollected souls of unimaginable eeeeevil and lives on the hallowed ground of the cemetery for his protection.
Never mind the little plot gaffe of how Blackheart was able to go into a church, light candles, and threaten a priest, but couldn't step foot in a cemetery to take a piece of paper from an old cowboy.
Things happen. Elemental demon gang gets sent home. Former little wooden girlfriend gets mildly threatened by Satan's petulant goth spawn. The Caretaker has his last pyrotechnic ride. Ghost Rider saves the world and pisses off Mephi. The end.
I knew this would be a cheese-fest walking in the door. I just didn't expect it to be this bad. After all, writer / director / producer Mark Steven Johnson made Daredevil. Not an Academy Award winner, but a fun, superhero flick in the guity-pleasure genre. Then again, he also made Elektra.
Good Points:
- Sam Elliot. True, he's pretty much the same character in everything he does and this was yet another case of cookie-cutter typecasting, I couldn't imagine anyone else in the role. One of the few believable performances.
- Donal Logue. The other believable performance. I was genuinely pissed off when his character died.
- Seed of plot premise. The Ghost Rider comics didn't exactly have an established, cohesive origin story. Kid selling his soul to save dad was believable.
- I liked the plot's use of the "Penance Stare" power, even though the effect itself went on too long.
- Great scene with Johnny in jail. Actually elicited a few enthusiastic YEAH's from Avindair and me.
- Scenes between Nick and Sam were some of the best in the film; even the purely CGI "Riders" sequence near the end.
Bad Points:
- There were only two reasons for Eva Mendez to be in this film, and I think we all know what they were. I haven't seen a performance this bad since Thora Birch as the Empress Savina in "Dungeons and Dragons". PLEASE! Someone tell me this woman will never make another talkie again!
- I'm all for cleavage, but Eva's plunging neckline became ridiculous. I actually laughed out loud.
- Plot holes! Why could Blackheart be in a church but not in the cemetery? Why could the Caretaker only ride one more time and how did he know that? What happened to him at the end of the film? When Daddy Devil has millions of souls at his disposal, what would it matter if his son picked up 1000? That's a threat? What the hell made THESE particular souls so especially eeeeevil?
- Bad, bad writing. Really bad dialogue.
- Poor acting. At least most of the cast had an excuse, but Nick Cage, shame on you. The CGI Ghost Rider had more expression.
My recommendation: Only watch this film to get the bad taste of Cat Woman or The Hulk out of your mouth. Rent the DVD, get boozed up, and put away all solid objects that can be thrown. Your television will thank you.
*****
I give it a 2 out of 5.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Hi, Ho... Hi, Ho
Work sucks.
In the big picture, I really don't have much to complain about. I get to sit at a computer and write all day. It's not cleaning backed-up sewage, welding on top of a skyscraper, or trying to save someone's life. I'm not in danger of physical harm. People's lives don't depend on what I do (at least, to date), but all jobs carry their own unique sets of stressors, both good and bad.
Right now, I can name a hundred things I'd rather be doing than editing copy and creating search engine content - but it pays the bills. First and foremost, I'd like a job with a stability, respect, a living wage, and benefits. Yeah... and while you're at it, I'd like a pony, too.
More on that later.
I do have to report my schadenfreude moment of the week. I found out something about the company-I-oh-so-wanted-to-work-for early last year. The one that gave me a "trial period" working freelance for them, but I eventually ran away screaming. They lost a big... and I mean BIG contract with a major Minneapolis corporation... because of the way they did business. It was a client of their's they'd actually asked me to LIE to to help them save face.
That brought me a moment of pure bliss.
Like I said. More on that later.
In the big picture, I really don't have much to complain about. I get to sit at a computer and write all day. It's not cleaning backed-up sewage, welding on top of a skyscraper, or trying to save someone's life. I'm not in danger of physical harm. People's lives don't depend on what I do (at least, to date), but all jobs carry their own unique sets of stressors, both good and bad.
Right now, I can name a hundred things I'd rather be doing than editing copy and creating search engine content - but it pays the bills. First and foremost, I'd like a job with a stability, respect, a living wage, and benefits. Yeah... and while you're at it, I'd like a pony, too.
More on that later.
I do have to report my schadenfreude moment of the week. I found out something about the company-I-oh-so-wanted-to-work-for early last year. The one that gave me a "trial period" working freelance for them, but I eventually ran away screaming. They lost a big... and I mean BIG contract with a major Minneapolis corporation... because of the way they did business. It was a client of their's they'd actually asked me to LIE to to help them save face.
That brought me a moment of pure bliss.
Like I said. More on that later.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
After all these years...
Huh. My memory for this isn't as bad as I thought it would be after all these years. I guess that all those hours of Sunday School and confirmation classes amounted to some literary knowledge of the Good Book.
You know the Bible 88%!
Wow! You are awesome! You are a true Biblical scholar, not just a hearer but a personal reader! The books, the characters, the events, the verses - you know it all! You are fantastic!
Ultimate Bible Quiz
Create MySpace Quizzes
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
20 Questions
Yes, I know. I haven't had an original post in weeks. Recovering from the holidays. Keeping up with clients. Searching for a new gig. Dealing with life. Some good, some bad, some ugly... some really good... but that's life.
So, until I get my ass in gear and write something meaningful - enjoy another meme.
1. Elaborate on your default icon.
To tell the truth, I haven't taken the time to figure out how to post an icon on Blogger. I do have one on Live Journal -- me as Cassie Banning. I only have a Live Journal account to post to friend's blogs!
2. What's your current relationship status?
Very. Happily. Ever after. Married!
3. Ever have a near-death experience?
In what sense? Me, personally near-death? Not that I remember. Damn those black outs.
4. Name an obvious quality you have.
Calm.
5. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
There's actually an entire CD lodged just above my left temple. Man, that stings!
6. Name a celebrity you would marry.
Kate Winslet -- oh, wait -- a guy? Hmmm... it would have to be someone smart and talented... Kenneth Branagh?
7. Who will cut and paste this first?
Of the 3.6 people who read my blog - no clue.
8. Has anyone ever said you look like a celebrity?
Yup. Kelly McGillis.
9. Do you wear a watch?
Rarely.
10. Do you have anything pierced?
Two piercings in each ear.
11. Do you have any tattoos?
Not yet.
12. Do you like pain?
Are you kidding? Four words - labor and delivery... twice. I adore my children and couldn't imagine my life without them. But labor pains are really quite spectacular and enough for a lifetime!
13. Do you like to shop?
Only when it's not necessary. Hate grocery shopping. Hate clothes shopping. Love browsing bookstores, home improvement stores, clearance shelves just about everywhere, and places like Pier 1.
14. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
A bottle of flavored water.
15. What was the last thing you paid for with your credit card?
Food.
16. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?
An annoying sales call from one of our credit cards trying to get us to add a premium "service" for a small additional fee. Yeah, right.
17. What is on your desktop background?
Computer 1: The kids splashing in the sunset surf of the Gulf Coast in Gulfport, MS. Computer 2: Da Vinci drawings
18. What is the background on your cell phone?
Red satin. Sexy!
19. What was the last movie you watched?
Fell asleep to "Episode 3: When Good Anakin's Go Bad". I think I watched it for 5 minutes. But had to stay awake for Palpatine and Anakin's chat during the zero-G ballet. As Avindair says, "Ian McDiarmid is the shit!" (In a good way.)
20. What was the last book you read?
I'm in the middle of at least two right now, "London" by Edward Rutherford and "Incubus Dreams" by Laurell K. Hamilton. The last one I finished? Does "Strangers in Paradise: Vol 2" count?
So, until I get my ass in gear and write something meaningful - enjoy another meme.
1. Elaborate on your default icon.
To tell the truth, I haven't taken the time to figure out how to post an icon on Blogger. I do have one on Live Journal -- me as Cassie Banning. I only have a Live Journal account to post to friend's blogs!
2. What's your current relationship status?
Very. Happily. Ever after. Married!
3. Ever have a near-death experience?
In what sense? Me, personally near-death? Not that I remember. Damn those black outs.
4. Name an obvious quality you have.
Calm.
5. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
There's actually an entire CD lodged just above my left temple. Man, that stings!
6. Name a celebrity you would marry.
Kate Winslet -- oh, wait -- a guy? Hmmm... it would have to be someone smart and talented... Kenneth Branagh?
7. Who will cut and paste this first?
Of the 3.6 people who read my blog - no clue.
8. Has anyone ever said you look like a celebrity?
Yup. Kelly McGillis.
9. Do you wear a watch?
Rarely.
10. Do you have anything pierced?
Two piercings in each ear.
11. Do you have any tattoos?
Not yet.
12. Do you like pain?
Are you kidding? Four words - labor and delivery... twice. I adore my children and couldn't imagine my life without them. But labor pains are really quite spectacular and enough for a lifetime!
13. Do you like to shop?
Only when it's not necessary. Hate grocery shopping. Hate clothes shopping. Love browsing bookstores, home improvement stores, clearance shelves just about everywhere, and places like Pier 1.
14. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
A bottle of flavored water.
15. What was the last thing you paid for with your credit card?
Food.
16. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?
An annoying sales call from one of our credit cards trying to get us to add a premium "service" for a small additional fee. Yeah, right.
17. What is on your desktop background?
Computer 1: The kids splashing in the sunset surf of the Gulf Coast in Gulfport, MS. Computer 2: Da Vinci drawings
18. What is the background on your cell phone?
Red satin. Sexy!
19. What was the last movie you watched?
Fell asleep to "Episode 3: When Good Anakin's Go Bad". I think I watched it for 5 minutes. But had to stay awake for Palpatine and Anakin's chat during the zero-G ballet. As Avindair says, "Ian McDiarmid is the shit!" (In a good way.)
20. What was the last book you read?
I'm in the middle of at least two right now, "London" by Edward Rutherford and "Incubus Dreams" by Laurell K. Hamilton. The last one I finished? Does "Strangers in Paradise: Vol 2" count?
Thursday, January 04, 2007
My dad would be proud...
I promise. This is the last quiz today. Just having trouble jump-starting my brain.
That being said, my dad, born and bred in Mississippi, would be proud of his northern-raised little girl!
That being said, my dad, born and bred in Mississippi, would be proud of his northern-raised little girl!
You are a 100% True Southerner
True southern through and through. Glad to have you. You are a card carrying southerner and can boast of your heritage.
Are You a Real Southerner
Take More Quizzes
I said "Geek Goddess", not "Greek God"!
MagicMarmot, you are a bad, bad influence. I see this stuff on your blog and can't resist. I think you really are Baltar!
This is me!
This is me!
| What Battlestar Gallactica Character Are You? | |
  Apollo You're really a versatile person. Capable of leading, obeying, fighting, protecting and if the situation calls, running really damn fast. Nevertheless, you get the job done, whatever it is. You are strong when you need to be, and when others need you to be, so it always looks like your bringing your game face. | |
| Take The Quiz Now! | Quizzes by myYearbook.com |
Sunday, December 31, 2006
I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.
Your results:
You are Mystique
Click here to take the "Which Super Villain are you?" quiz...
You are Mystique
| Sometimes motherly, sometimes a beautiful companion, but most of the time a deceiving vixen. |
Click here to take the "Which Super Villain are you?" quiz...
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Merry Solstice!
May the hope, joy, and blessings of this season be yours!
GeekGoddess
To learn more about the solstice, visit Candle Grove or do your own Google search!
GeekGoddess
To learn more about the solstice, visit Candle Grove or do your own Google search!
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
MCI - Make Customers Irate
I got two automated phone calls yesterday. "Courtesy" calls from MCI notifying me that my credit card on record is about to expire. It gives me an 800 number or a website to make the fix.
Huh? We don't have MCI service. What the hell?
So I call the 800 number. Typical electronic voice nightmare run-around.
After several minutes, I craftily convince the system to give me a real live person. Or at least a reasonable facsimile. A nearly unintelligible customer service rep of unknown origin answers.
REP: How can I help you?
ME: I've been getting an automated phone call from MCI telling me that my credit card on record is going to expire. But your system must have something wrong. I don't have an account with MCI.
REP: Oh. What is your account number?
ME: I don't HAVE an account with MCI, but I'm getting this automated call. Your records must be in error. Here's the phone number your system is calling, xxx-xxx-xxxx.
REP: Okay. May I have permission to access your account?
ME: That's just it. I DON'T HAVE an account with MCI.
REP: Okay. What is your account number?
ME: (completed exasperated) I CAN'T GIVE YOU AN ACCOUNT NUMBER. I DON'T HAVE AN ACCOUNT NUMBER. I DON'T HAVE AN ACCOUNT WITH MCI!!!
REP: Oh. Okay. (pause - sound of clicking) Your credit card on record is expiring.
ME: (speaking slowly... using small words) How... can... that... be? I don't have service through MCI.
REP: That's because your account was closed in 2002.
ME: (realizing that we briefly had long distance through MCI -- FOUR years ago) But you still had my credit card on record?
REP: Yes. And it's about to expire.
ME: (silence)
REP: But we haven't charged anything to it since 2002.
ME: Gee. That's good. I would have been upset if you'd charged me for a closed account.
REP: Would you like me to remove it from our records and note that the account is closed?
ME: I guess since it's been four years, that would be a good idea. Yeah.
REP: (10 seconds of clicking later) Okay. The records have been changed. Is there anything else I can do for you today?
ME: No. No. You've done quite enough. Thanks.
So... how do I go about billing MCI for MY TIME?
Grump.
Huh? We don't have MCI service. What the hell?
So I call the 800 number. Typical electronic voice nightmare run-around.
After several minutes, I craftily convince the system to give me a real live person. Or at least a reasonable facsimile. A nearly unintelligible customer service rep of unknown origin answers.
REP: How can I help you?
ME: I've been getting an automated phone call from MCI telling me that my credit card on record is going to expire. But your system must have something wrong. I don't have an account with MCI.
REP: Oh. What is your account number?
ME: I don't HAVE an account with MCI, but I'm getting this automated call. Your records must be in error. Here's the phone number your system is calling, xxx-xxx-xxxx.
REP: Okay. May I have permission to access your account?
ME: That's just it. I DON'T HAVE an account with MCI.
REP: Okay. What is your account number?
ME: (completed exasperated) I CAN'T GIVE YOU AN ACCOUNT NUMBER. I DON'T HAVE AN ACCOUNT NUMBER. I DON'T HAVE AN ACCOUNT WITH MCI!!!
REP: Oh. Okay. (pause - sound of clicking) Your credit card on record is expiring.
ME: (speaking slowly... using small words) How... can... that... be? I don't have service through MCI.
REP: That's because your account was closed in 2002.
ME: (realizing that we briefly had long distance through MCI -- FOUR years ago) But you still had my credit card on record?
REP: Yes. And it's about to expire.
ME: (silence)
REP: But we haven't charged anything to it since 2002.
ME: Gee. That's good. I would have been upset if you'd charged me for a closed account.
REP: Would you like me to remove it from our records and note that the account is closed?
ME: I guess since it's been four years, that would be a good idea. Yeah.
REP: (10 seconds of clicking later) Okay. The records have been changed. Is there anything else I can do for you today?
ME: No. No. You've done quite enough. Thanks.
So... how do I go about billing MCI for MY TIME?
Grump.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
See? I have PROOF!
As a writer by trade, it's not always easy to prove one's skills. So here it is. Undeniable proof.
According to a Blogthings quiz, I know lots of big words.
According to a Blogthings quiz, I know lots of big words.
| Your Vocabulary Score: A |
 |
Friday, December 01, 2006
Thinking ahead...
Okay, folks. I know this is nothing more than blog-fluff, but I haven't had the mental capacity to do much more than this for the past several weeks. That being said, I'm finally on the upswing of the moody scale and this helped put me on the path to a little holiday cheer today. Enjoy!
1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?
A hot chocolate substitute... hot Ovaltine. Just as tasty and more vitamins.
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just set them under the tree?
Sants doesn't wrap presents. His elves do.
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
White. I love the simplicity of it.
4. Do you hang a mistletoe?
I don't think I ever have.
5. When do you put your decorations up?
When I have the time. Ideally, right after Thanksgiving, but I'm behind schedule right now.
6. What is your favorite holiday dish?
Family and friends. The food could be frozen pizza for all I care.
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child?
Any Christmas that my Uncle Dale came to visit. That was a present in itself.
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
I don't recall exactly. Although I do vaguely remember asking my Mom about it and her answering that people that are generous and giving are the real Santas.
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
When I was a kid, after I knew there was no Santa, we opened all our gifts on Christmas Eve. Now, everyone gets to open one on Christmas Eve before bed. The rest get opened in the morning. A mix of Avindair's family traditions and mine.
10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree?
That's an odd question. I use wild weasels to string the lights, squirrels to hand the ornaments, a trained monkey to plug everything in, and then a big Rottweiler to chase them all out of the house when we're done.
11. Snow - love it or hate?
As much of a pain in the ass it can be, I love it. If I have to be cold, I want pretty snow to look at and play in.
12. Can you ice skate?
I owned skates ONE winter as a kid, skating at an outdoor rink in North Dakota. I was terrible at it. Now I wish I'd done it more and learned. I think I just hated falling down on the bumpy ice.
13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
I had to revise this answer. My first favorite was a thin gold necklace and bracelet from Avindair. He'd really taken to heart the one thing I asked for. It was thoughtful, simple and beautiful. The second was last Christmas from my mom, dad and grandma. Mom took me out to pick out a ring with matching earrings. Something that they knew I would like, and would be able to keep, use and value for the rest of my days. That was my one gift from them and I absolutely loved it.
It makes me sound like a jewelry fiend... but I'm not!
14. What's the most exciting thing about the Holidays for you?
Seeing the anticipation in my children's eyes.
15. What is your favorite holiday Dessert?
Pumpkin pie... all winter long.
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
It used to be writing a thank you note to the kids from Santa along with the half-eaten milk and cookies... as well as some nibbled-on carrots the reindeer left behind. Now I think it's just the whole family gathering in our jammies and fluffy robes for popcorn and a movie in front of the fireplace.
17. What tops your tree?
There's an ornament around here somewhere...
18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving?
Receiving is nice, but I love giving.
19. What is your favorite Christmas song?
"White Christmas". I'm a sucker for Irving Berlin.
20. Candy canes?
Eh. I'm not a big fan, but the kids love them. And they look nice on the tree and on garlands.
There you have it folks. The Geek Goddess' Christmas Top 20.
1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?
A hot chocolate substitute... hot Ovaltine. Just as tasty and more vitamins.
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just set them under the tree?
Sants doesn't wrap presents. His elves do.
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
White. I love the simplicity of it.
4. Do you hang a mistletoe?
I don't think I ever have.
5. When do you put your decorations up?
When I have the time. Ideally, right after Thanksgiving, but I'm behind schedule right now.
6. What is your favorite holiday dish?
Family and friends. The food could be frozen pizza for all I care.
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child?
Any Christmas that my Uncle Dale came to visit. That was a present in itself.
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
I don't recall exactly. Although I do vaguely remember asking my Mom about it and her answering that people that are generous and giving are the real Santas.
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
When I was a kid, after I knew there was no Santa, we opened all our gifts on Christmas Eve. Now, everyone gets to open one on Christmas Eve before bed. The rest get opened in the morning. A mix of Avindair's family traditions and mine.
10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree?
That's an odd question. I use wild weasels to string the lights, squirrels to hand the ornaments, a trained monkey to plug everything in, and then a big Rottweiler to chase them all out of the house when we're done.
11. Snow - love it or hate?
As much of a pain in the ass it can be, I love it. If I have to be cold, I want pretty snow to look at and play in.
12. Can you ice skate?
I owned skates ONE winter as a kid, skating at an outdoor rink in North Dakota. I was terrible at it. Now I wish I'd done it more and learned. I think I just hated falling down on the bumpy ice.
13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
I had to revise this answer. My first favorite was a thin gold necklace and bracelet from Avindair. He'd really taken to heart the one thing I asked for. It was thoughtful, simple and beautiful. The second was last Christmas from my mom, dad and grandma. Mom took me out to pick out a ring with matching earrings. Something that they knew I would like, and would be able to keep, use and value for the rest of my days. That was my one gift from them and I absolutely loved it.
It makes me sound like a jewelry fiend... but I'm not!
14. What's the most exciting thing about the Holidays for you?
Seeing the anticipation in my children's eyes.
15. What is your favorite holiday Dessert?
Pumpkin pie... all winter long.
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
It used to be writing a thank you note to the kids from Santa along with the half-eaten milk and cookies... as well as some nibbled-on carrots the reindeer left behind. Now I think it's just the whole family gathering in our jammies and fluffy robes for popcorn and a movie in front of the fireplace.
17. What tops your tree?
There's an ornament around here somewhere...
18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving?
Receiving is nice, but I love giving.
19. What is your favorite Christmas song?
"White Christmas". I'm a sucker for Irving Berlin.
20. Candy canes?
Eh. I'm not a big fan, but the kids love them. And they look nice on the tree and on garlands.
There you have it folks. The Geek Goddess' Christmas Top 20.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
They're Only Words
Cool! According to this, no one would know where I'm from... until I got tired and unwittingly uttered an, "Oofta!"
| What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland "You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio. | |
| North Central | |
| The West | |
| The Inland North | |
| Boston | |
| The South | |
| Philadelphia | |
| The Northeast | |
| What American accent do you have? | |
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