That's what I had for lunch today.
No, really.
It was cleverly marketed as "Chinese Chicken Pasta Salad" at The Fancy Grocery Store (tm). You know the one. The grocery store with carpet on the floors, mahogany-stained shelves, and approximately 20,000 kinds of smelly cheese.
In a rush this morning, I decided to pick up lunch there on my way in to the office. There's always something tasty at the deli counter and I was in a hurry. The first thing I spotted was a giant dish of "Chinese Chicken Pasta Salad" covered in crisp Sugar Snap Peas and sweet Mandarin Orange slices. It lacked the "swimming in mayo" look of their other salads and, being on special today, appealed to my cheap-skate sensibilities.
Boy, was I wrong. The only way I can truthfully describe the taste that assaulted my tongue was... rhino ass.
"Perhaps," I foolishly thought, "it's the coffee I just drank or it needs to be mixed up or... or... "
So I took a few more bites. Now it became clear that it was rhino ass with a side of sodium the size of the Great Salt Lake.
Granted, I've never actually indulged in the culinary adventure of rhino ass -- expensive, pretentious rhino ass. But if I ever were to, I would imagine that it would taste exactly like "Chinese Chicken Pasta Salad" from The Fancy Grocery Store(tm).
All in all, I should have had the Clam Juice. Uck.
5 comments:
That's always Soooo disappointing. Especially since it was from the over-priced yuppie store.
After all, at a place like that, you would think they could just cop to their more exotic ingredients and it would pay off.
How many botox-addled, fake-Prada-bag-weilding,sweater-stuffing trophy wives would swoon over a frankly labled Tapenade like this:
"Heavily salted, rino rectum carefuly harvested at the peak of freshness by hearty locals of the ____fill in name ___provence. Diced by hand and mixed with olives, capers, merlot, and extra virgin olive oil. Best served fresh with goat cheese on crackers."
BTW, that anonymous post was me, Trees.
Hmmm... I think that was in the dish *next to* the "Chinese Chicken Pasta Salad". Perhaps they mixed up the signs. :-)
>botox-addled, fake-Prada-bag-weilding,sweater-stuffing trophy wives
Perfect.
Khakalash.
I actually saw clam juice in cans at the grocery store, in the soda aisle.
Marmot,
As I understand it, Clamato is an acquired taste. Very popular in Canada, Mexico and Latin America.
Wow. I just realized that I really *would* have rather had clam juice.
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