Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Weary

The number one word to describe me right now. Just plain weary.

It's the everyday things that are getting to me. The routine, the mess, the deadlines, the to-do list. The kinds of things that every person on this planet has to do every day - but eventually your soul has just had enough and you need a break.

I don't see that break coming any time soon.

Like a lot of people, I wake to the alarm, hit the snooze a few times, shuffle out of bed, fail to eat a good breakfast, and head off to work.

I try to ignore the everyday-life flotsam covering my desk, our kitchen counter... the floor boards of my car. I don't have the time or the initiative to deal with it. I'm on the treadmill with my shoe laces untied. Eventually, I'm going to trip.

Didn't take a real vacation this year because of repeated work woes. Haven't even been successful in planning a weekend getaway and I don't see that happening any time soon. Mostly because I just don't have the energy to deal with the headache it takes to plan and execute a vacation.

I am weary.

I wish I could be one of those sparkling people that gets up at the break of dawn with a spring in their step and a smile on their face. The kind of person that has a place for everything... and everything in it's place... and because of that doesn't worry like the rest of us.

Sometimes I wish I could be the kind of person who didn't give a rat's ass about anything. But that's just not within me.

Or maybe be the kind of person whose life is so simple, so uncomplicated, that issue never comes up.

Truth is, the same things that bring complexity and headaches also bring facination and laughter and challenge and love -- and those are things that I wouldn't... couldn't do without. What I could probably use is two full weeks off. The first week to play catch up and do all the things I'd like to get done - because I couldn't enjoy week two looking at the to-do's around me. The last week to just enjoy a week of nothing but getting up, taking a walk, reading, cooking a good meal, ignoring work and emails and phones, puttering around the yard, being with my family, not running to catch up with my life.

Hell, everyone has trouble just dealing with life from time to time. That's where I am today, but at least I have some of it behind me. I did manage to get up, get ready, write a whiny blog post and get my kids off to school. Now for the rest of the day.

5 comments:

Avindair said...

I'm with you. Remember, I was going to have time off this month between gigs, until the Buttmunch PM threw a hissy. Now I move from one job to the next with ZERO downtime.

Of course, what's getting me through it is knowing that Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas are all coming up. These are the times of year where we are allowed to jack-diddly, and we need to embrace that.

Anonymous said...

Also remember the upcoming hot-tub fest like we did last year with MLRF. Same bat-place.

Don't have a hard date yet, but an evening of fine company, hot tubbin' and the assorted festivities sounds like a really good idea for all.

GeekGoddess said...

Avindair and Marmot - speaking of Halloween jack-diddly, anyone want to do the cave tour this year? Anyone? Bueller?

Thanksgiving - does mean a weekend of quiet in ND.

Christmas - as long as we keep it simple, a few days of kicking back. I WILL NOT work my ass off through the kids' vacation like I did last year to impress a here-today / gone-tomorrow client.

Hot tub + good friends + snacks = warm fuzzy happiness. Thanks for the reminder, Marmotman.

Avindair said...

No kidding about client work. Talk about a waste of effort. You did great work for them -- and got paid -- for basically the professional equivilant of "It's good, but you're a girl and we like men to write for us."

That just chaps my ass.

Anonymous said...

I have only just started the research for the haunt crawl this year. I don't know what all is available yet, but yeah, it should be sooner rather than later.