I got two automated phone calls yesterday. "Courtesy" calls from MCI notifying me that my credit card on record is about to expire. It gives me an 800 number or a website to make the fix.
Huh? We don't have MCI service. What the hell?
So I call the 800 number. Typical electronic voice nightmare run-around.
After several minutes, I craftily convince the system to give me a real live person. Or at least a reasonable facsimile. A nearly unintelligible customer service rep of unknown origin answers.
REP: How can I help you?
ME: I've been getting an automated phone call from MCI telling me that my credit card on record is going to expire. But your system must have something wrong. I don't have an account with MCI.
REP: Oh. What is your account number?
ME: I don't HAVE an account with MCI, but I'm getting this automated call. Your records must be in error. Here's the phone number your system is calling, xxx-xxx-xxxx.
REP: Okay. May I have permission to access your account?
ME: That's just it. I DON'T HAVE an account with MCI.
REP: Okay. What is your account number?
ME: (completed exasperated) I CAN'T GIVE YOU AN ACCOUNT NUMBER. I DON'T HAVE AN ACCOUNT NUMBER. I DON'T HAVE AN ACCOUNT WITH MCI!!!
REP: Oh. Okay. (pause - sound of clicking) Your credit card on record is expiring.
ME: (speaking slowly... using small words) How... can... that... be? I don't have service through MCI.
REP: That's because your account was closed in 2002.
ME: (realizing that we briefly had long distance through MCI -- FOUR years ago) But you still had my credit card on record?
REP: Yes. And it's about to expire.
ME: (silence)
REP: But we haven't charged anything to it since 2002.
ME: Gee. That's good. I would have been upset if you'd charged me for a closed account.
REP: Would you like me to remove it from our records and note that the account is closed?
ME: I guess since it's been four years, that would be a good idea. Yeah.
REP: (10 seconds of clicking later) Okay. The records have been changed. Is there anything else I can do for you today?
ME: No. No. You've done quite enough. Thanks.
So... how do I go about billing MCI for MY TIME?
Grump.
5 comments:
Cripes.
Gee, their fingers must be tired from using their Abucus to handle their account info.
And their sphincters must be stretched from the constant craniorectal inversion.
Avindair -
Abacus? Naw. They just have to borrow the guy in the next cube to count his fingers and toes, too.
Marmot -
Or their heads are VERY small... any smarter and they'd be flinging poo at the phone.
I'm a font of positive sweetness and light today. Bask in my glow!
Are you really sure you talked to MCI? Sounds like a phishing scam, seeking out some ID-ten-T who would give them a new credit card number.
I recommend running their phone number through Google or a Reverse Lookup. If it comes up as MCI, then its a simple case of corporate cranialrectal inversion as MM said...
-Z
That was my first reaction, too.
I checked out the number and the website. First of all, the phone message said to go to MCI.com OR call the 800 number. The number checked out. Besides, the only information that was passed was my phone number, which they already had. I didn't give them my credit card number, SSN, address... nothing else.
Besides, this kind of CRI is why we dropped MCI like a hot-potato four years ago!
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