The most recent revival of Camelot at the Ordway in Saint Paul was the victim of a school yard bully: pushed in the mud, nose bloodied, snicker-snagged on... and had its lunch money taken away.
One look at the the masterminds behind this desecration of classic American musical theater and we can see why. The book for this production has been "reimagined" by Michael Lerner, son of the original lyricist Alan Jay Lerner, for a contemporary audience. Gone are musical numbers "The Jousts", "Fie on Goodness", and "I Loved You Once in Silence". "Guenevere", that tells the tale of Lancelot's escape, Guenevere's trial and sentence, Arthur's heartbreak, and the destruction of the Round Table has been virtually reduced to a chorus of 6 voices and 60 seconds of everyone running about.
Scenes have been swapped around. Songs moved or removed. Lines added or changed. New one-liners dropped in to
lighten the tone of the second act. Old jokes, that may be offensive to our more
enlightened modern tastes (read: whiney-ass cry-babies without a sense of humor) have been cut and replaced with awkward, apologetic comments.
Does Michael Lerner actually have a background in daddy's grand profession? Oh, no! This is his FIRST theatrical attempt. Prior to this he was a foreign correspondent for Newsweek magazine. No joke.
Michael's sister, Liza Lerner, is the Producer. And - who'd have guessed it - this is the FIRST show she's ever produced! What's the daughter of an American theater icon been doing for a living? She's the president of her own interior design firm. That explains the just-passable sets and the what-were-they-thinking costume choices.
From the moment the curtain rose, I knew we were in trouble as a young lad in silhouette rushed onto the stage and pulls a sword from a stone. I guess they had to remind us what show we came to see.
Then there's Michael York. Yup. There he is. An accomplished actor whose career spans over 40 years of stage and screen. And he was awful. I mean, really awful. Instead of a powerful but thoughtful and tragic king, we get an amiable, oafish Wart. York takes the man who never intended to be king, and runs with that interp through the entire show. Flat, one-note, and lifelessly mellow, Arthur bumbles bemusedly through most of the darkest moments of the play like a Zoloft-addicted koala bear.
Poor acting choices aside, York's physicality was completely distracting. We've all seen amateur actors who pose or have no clue as to what do with their hands to make their movement look natural. All night, York's elbows seemed to be tied to his waist in some sort of constant rock'em-sock'em-robot pattern of gestures. What's almost worse, is that he was the only actor on stage doing it. If I hadn't known better, I'd have said that this was opening night or his first stage show after years of film, but that's not the case. It was just sadly disappointing.
Rachel York, however, was surprisingly stunning. Her Guenevere had a vitality and intelligence often missing from this ingenue role from the moment she set foot on stage. James Barbour, in the role of Lancelot, lended his sonorous voice and musical theater acting chops to a role too often portrayed as a simple, self-centered, religious fanatic. Add in Time Winter's endearing Pellinore and Eric Anderson's pagan Merlyn, and you have several talented performers hog-tied into a frighteningly-disastrous train wreck aimed right at the terrified and unsuspecting audience.
We won't even get into the silliest dance move for knights a-may-ing -- ever, Lancelot's silver lame' go-go boots, nuance-nullifying amplified sound, the joust cut to a 2/3 version sword fight, a faster tempo for every tune, turning a classic tragedy into an upbeat romp for the the text-messaging generation, or the thoroughly uninspired blocking and stage pictures.
I mean, wow. This was a stinker. Ever seen audience members walk out of the middle of performances at the Ordway?
I did.
Yes. It was that bad.
We listened to one of the Richard Harris versions on CD in the car. Popped in the DVD of the 1967 film version when we got home. Ordered the 1982 Showtime version from Amazon before we went to bed. Had to get the bad taste out of our mouths.
I love Camelot and I have for years. I've read "The Once and Future King" by T.S. White many times and even Malory's "Le Morte d'Arthur". I don't want my children's only exposure to this timeless tale to be this butchered travesty. Time to right the wrongs before they end up in therapy.
* out of * * * * *