Woe is Me

Stuffy nose. A vague fuzzy, humming in my ears. Sinuses that feel like they're packed with wet cement. A painfully red nose. Headache. Muscle ache. Sore throat. Chills.

The cold and flu season is my bane this year.

I wash my hands. I had my flu shot. I take my vitamins. I even regularly disinfected my desk and keyboard at work.

I've had the flu -- twice. It made at least a couple of laps at our house. Now Monkey Dude and I both have killer colds.

Misery, thy name is GeekGoddess.

As much as I'd like to, I can't call in sick this week. I'm taking next week off, and I hope and pray that I'm well by then. I have a document due tomorrow that MUST get done before I leave.

It feels all the worse to me because before I came back to a regular 9-5 gig, I was healthy. When I was freelancing, I went years without severe colds or flu. One year back in an office and I've been sick more than I can count.

An excellent argument for more telecommuting.

Positive Post #8

I admit it. I'm a little behind on my Positive Posts. The final week of "Sound of Music" performances really took it out of me. Here's my positive post for the day:

"Sound of Music" is done!

Even though I'm relieved that it's done and I can get back to my regularly scheduled life programming, I have many positive things to say about it:

1. It was great to be back on stage again.
2. It was great to have the challenge of live theater again.
3. It was great to be in a show with Avindair again.
4. It was my first show that A) had a run that long and B) was over 98% sold out. Only 11 unsold seats - over 5,100 tickets sold.
5. We met a lot of great people.
6. We worked with a fantastic cast and crew.
7. We got a foot in the door at an active and successful community theater.
8. It helped us get through the worst part of the winter.
9. We got the kids involved in ushering. Monkey Dude worked the last show, even though he was exhausted from closing "The Laramie Project" the night before. Adventure Girl worked at all of the last six shows, impressing the volunteer coordinator so much that she emailed us and told us so.
10. It completely pushed my endurance limits for a show and proved to me that I can do more than I thought I could.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

I have to share this little St. Patty's Day goodie with everyone. One of our fellow cast members from "Sound of Music" sent this my way today. THANK YOU, Sharon!

The best rendition of "Danny Boy"... EVER!

Creepy Argentinian Gnome Video

Weird news alert! Apparently a small gnome-like creature has been terrorizing a small town in Argentina. According to the Belfast Telegraph, it stalks the streets at night with a creepy sideways walk. Here's the video that was caught. The "gnome" only shows up on the last few seconds of the video.

Positive Post #7

A replacement for petroleum-based plastics?

There may still be hope.

Finally, an Explanation for Nigerian Spam

Who hasn't received one of those odd Nigerian spam emails asking for help in claiming a lost inheritance or other such crap? Ever wonder why the language in them was so... well... odd?

It seems that Nigerians have allowed English to go it's own way, with words that survived from early Victorian-era colonists mixed with the syntax and grammar of indigenous African languages.

It's either linguists nightmare or doctoral study dream!

Now Playing - The Laramie Project

Our son, Monkey Dude, has taken a big step into the world of theater.

Last night, I went to the second dress rehearsal of "The Laramie Project" at Maple Grove Senior High School. This is a powerful and challenging story for a high school theater, and I applaud them having the guts to do it. Here's an excerpt from the school's web page dedicated to the show:

"In October 1998 a twenty-one-year-old student at the University of Wyoming was kidnapped, severely beaten and left to die, tied to a fence on the outskirts of Laramie, Wyoming. His name was Matthew Shepard, and he was the victim of this assault because he was gay. Moises Kaufman and fellow members of the Tectonic Theater Project made six trips to Laramie over the course of a year and a half in the aftermath of the beating and during the trial of the two young men accused of killing Shepard. The conducted more than 200 interviews with the people of the town. Some people interviewed were directly connected to the case and others were citizens of Laramie. THE LARAMIE PROJECT chronicles the life of the town of Laramie in the year after the murder. Kaufman and the Tectonic Theater members have constructed a deeply moving theatrical experience from these interviews and their own experiences. THE LARAMIE PROJECT is a breathtaking theatrical collage that explores the depths to which humanity can sink and the height of compassion of which we are capable."

Each actor in the show portrays several real-life characters. Monkey Dude himself, has five. Even at a dress rehearsal, these young actors brought the professionalism and gravity of the subject to light with surprising talent and thoughtfulness.

If you're in the area and you have the opportunity, see this show!

Location:
Maple Grove Senior High Auditorium

Performances:
March 13, 14 and 15
7:00pm

Tickets:
Call 763-391-8736 or email mgshdrama@gmail.com.
Adults - $8
Seniors - $5
Students - $5

Adult Advisory:
This show contains strong adult language and themes that may not be suitable for all audiences. Discretion is advised.

For more information, visit the Matthew Shepard Foundation.

Always Look on the Bright Side of Death (Warmed Over)

WARNING: Long pissing, moaning, and whining post ahead... with a happy ending.

It's a phrase my family used to use if someone looked very tired or sick, "Oofta! You look like death warmed over!" Its usage was so common, that I never really considered how horribly dark that statement was until I was much older.

Today, along with the rest of the NerdPod, I feel like death warmed over.

Why?

1. Tomorrow begins our last run of Sound of Music. Six performances in a row. Last week it was five followed by two days off. Great people. Lots of fun. But after several months of rehearsals and almost 20 performances spanning five months, I'm running out of steam.

2. Big projects at work sucking up all available brain power. By the time I finish up an hour of commute and 8 hours of work each day, I'm absolutely mentally drained.

3. Monkey Dude's rehearsals for his play keep us hopping in the short period between leaving work and getting to the theater for our own show AND on the days we don't have a performance. Last night's dress rehearsal went past 1130pm.

4. Adventure Girl has a life, too. We've had to juggle her school commitments, as well as plan a social calendar for her when Monkey Dude isn't available. We owe Adventure Girl's friend's parents for all the sleepover invites that have accomodated our hectic schedule.

5. Round and round it goes sickness. We've hardly gone a week in the past two months without someone in the family having some version of flu, cold, or just plain exhaustion-induced ickiness.

6. Health issues of close and distant family has had me worried. It wears on the psyche.

7. Avindair's work has been a constant source of irritation, like a rabid weasel in one's underwear.

7. All work and no play has made Jill a grumpy bitch goddess. Each day, for months, has been jam-packed with have-to's from before sun up to after sun down. My juggling act is suffering as all but the most important red, bouncy balls get dropped.

There is some good, though. To drop a cliche, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. A few of them, in fact.

1. By this time next week, there are no commitments on our calendar for the next few months.

2. A hectic day will mean going to work and running a few errands on the way home.

3. We're both taking some time off over Spring Break when the kids are out of school. We are not going away. We are not going on a vacation. We're staying home. Get up when we feel like it. Do some projects around the house that have been nagging at us. Getting things accomplished for US, not for someone else.

4. We'll have time to be social again. Invite friends over to watch a movie or play games.

5. We'll be able to eat dinner as a family and spend time together again.

6. It's Spring! The weather is warming up. Now we can take walks by the lake after work and maybe the trails at Elm Creek on weekends. I had my first walk-around-the-building at work today after months!

7. I'll have the energy to exercise in the morning, like I've been wanting to.

8. We've made some new friends with Sound of Music and hope to nurture some of those friendships past the final curtain.

9. We got our foot in the door at a remarkable community theater. It's great to be back on stage, and once we've rested up, we'll be auditioning again... later. *grin*

10. St Patrick's Day the whole family gets to see Gaelic Storm!

I know it's another cliche, but it fits. Sometimes you can't see the forest for the trees. I'm weary beyond belief today and don't quite know how we're going to make it through the week. I had to scramble up a veritable old oak and get some perspective before I lost all hope.

It didn't give me the rest of a full night's sleep, but it did help quell some of the frustration. I'll just play the last scene of Monty Python's The Life of Brian in my head and remember these important words:

Some things in life are bad,
They can really make you mad,
Other things just make you swear and curse,
When you're chewing life's gristle,
Don't grumble,
Give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best.
And...

Always look on the bright side of life.
[whistle]
Always look on the light side of life.
[whistle]

If life seems jolly rotten,
There's something you've forgotten,
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps,
Don't be silly chumps.
Just purse your lips and whistle.
That's the thing.
And...

Always look on the bright side of life.
[whistle]
Always look on the right side of life,
[whistle]

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word.
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin.
Give the audience a grin.
Enjoy it. It's your last chance, anyhow.
So,...

Always look on the bright side of death,
[whistle]
Just before you draw your terminal breath.
[whistle]

Life's a piece of shit,
When you look at it.
Life's a laugh and death's a joke it's true.
You'll see it's all a show.
Keep 'em laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
And...

Always look on the bright side of life.
Always look on the right side of life.
[whistle]
[repeat and fade out]

Positive Post #6

My mom has a water cooler in her basement. The kind that you'd find in an office breakroom. At least once a month, a delivery guy comes by to haul those big heavy bottles of water down the stairs. Several times a month, my mother has to lift one of those suckers into place. All this just to have good drinking water in the house. It's expensive, it takes up storage space, and it's generally a nuisance.

What if you could create water... out of thin air?

A Houston company has done just that. Aquamaker converts the humidity in the air into water. It works virtually everywhere in the world, including the desert, filters out pollutants, refills itself, and (if you're not using a solar powered version) uses about 1/4 of the electricity of an eletric kettle. Plus, they're competitively priced.

This could especially be a boon to remote villages where clean water sources are scarce. They make a 5,000 litre capacity machine that runs on a solar-powered generator.

Wow!

Read more about the Aquamaker in The Jerusalem Post.

Dinner and a Show? See a Loan Officer First.

It had been a long week: work, school, our son's rehearsals, our own performances, and battling seasonal health crud. We'd hardly seen the kids. They'd pretty much taken care of themselves for the past week. As a reward to them for being so helpful and responsible, and as a treat for ourselves, we decided to go to a silly movie and have dinner out.

First stop, the movie theater to buy our tickets in advance. For three adults and one child, $33.00! $33.00 for four people to gather with other people in a large darkened room and view celluloid being run past a lightbulb. Buy popcorn and four drinks, and the theater doubles their take.

If that weren't bad enough, we decided to have dinner out as a family. Something we hadn't done for weeks. Since California Pizza Kitchen was walking distance from the theater, we figured that was as good a place as any. Monkey Dude ordered the Thai Chicken Pizza, Spaghetti Bolognese for Avindair, Fettucini Alfredo for Adventure Girl, and some veggie-filled pasta thing for me. Add in four soft drinks. Wanna guess the total? The bill came to over $60.00. With tip, what we would consider a not at all fancy dinner, totaled over $80.00. Tell me that isn't highway robbery.

Granted, the prices were on the menus... I guess none of us thought about it as we ordered. But we'd been there before and didn't have to choke on the bill. No doubt that the prices have gone up. Considerably.

So, dinner and movie out for a family of four was over $100.

It's no wonder that home theaters are booming. Families can't afford to go out any more. When I was a kid, a movie was inexpensive entertainment. (A generation before, for my parents, even more so. Or should I say "less"?) Mom would drop me off at the theater with a friend and about $5. We'd have enough for admission, a drink, and a treat - with change left over. Now, if the kids want to go to a show with a friend, I practically have to fork over a $20. Am I the only one who thinks that's nuts?

Every family has something that they love to do. We are a movie-loving family. It's our thing. But from now on, with very few exceptions, movies are going to be at home, matinee only (because that's expensive enough), or at the cheap $2.00 theater.

Dining out, which had become less frequent as it was, will also become a rare event. Groceries prices have gone up, too, but I can feed my entire family a meal for the cost of one plate at a restaurant. I'd rather sit around the house eating bologna sandwiches with Avindair and kids, playing a board game, than shell out the geld for something like that again.

In fact... that sounds pretty damn good!

Postive Post #5

Soon, telling someone that they're full of hot air may no longer be an insult. French engineer Guy Negre has developed a 5-passenger concept car that runs on compressed air!

For a no-frills, economical, get-around vehicle, he may just have something. Check out the article from BBC news for the details.

Getting High... Legally!

Time for some silliness! It's going to be a long day at the theater, so I'm putting my brain on hold for a few hours. Behold! A meme ganked from Magic Marmot!

1. Did you date someone from your school?
Yes. I had a few dates.

2. Did you win anything in Senior's Who's Who?
Not that I remember.

3. What kind of car did you drive?
A dark blue, 1980 Dodge Omni. Loved that car!

4. It's Friday night...where r u at?
Usually hung out with my girlfriends. We were like the four musketeers.

5. Were you a party animal?
Ha! No. Not me. I played by the rules 90% of the time.

6. Were you considered a flirt?
No. I didn't know HOW to.

7. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir?
Orchestra (viola) and choir.

8. Were you a nerd?
Of a kind. In the '80's, nerds were supposed to be socially awkward guys with tape on their glasses. I was a theater/music/speech nerd. Knew I was different, but later embraced my nerd-dom.

9. Did you get suspended/expelled?
Nope. Never got in trouble in high school.

10. Can you sing the fight song?
I remember the whole damn thing!

11. Who were your favorite teachers?
My theater teacher, Cyndee Brown. She was a big influence. My French teacher, whose name shamefully escapes me at the moment.

12. Where did you sit during lunch?
As a sophomore, mostly at our theater/music/speech table. As a junior and senior I transitioned to mostly walking downtown and getting something really bad for me, like a Baby Ruth bar and a Coke!

13. What was your school's full name?
Grand Forks Central High School

14. School mascot?
An Indian... or should I say "Native American"? We were the politically incorrect "Redskins" back then.

15. Homecoming court?
Ha! Not a chance!

16. If you could go back and do it again, would you?
I'm sure there are some things I would have done differently, but even the mistakes molded me.

17. What do you remember most about graduation?
Eh. I remember it. Don't think much about it.

18. Where did you go senior skip day?
There was a Skip Day?

19. Have u gained some weight since then?
Oh, yeah.

20. Who was your Senior prom date?
I didn't get invited to Senior Prom. I threw a party for the girls I knew that didn't get invited.

21. Are you planning on going to your 10 year reunion?
I went to the 10-year and the 20-year. With the exception of a few people we spent time with, it was generally the same cliques and bullshit 20 years on.

22. Who was your home room teacher?
I don't even remember. I was never IN homeroom. That's when they fit in orchestra class.

23. Who will repost
Not a clue.

24. Did you play any sports?
No. But I did go to the occasional game. To quote the original "high school musical", Grease, "If you can't be an athlete, be an athletic supporter!"

25. Do you still talk to people from school?
A few. One I talk to every day, my husband!

26. What year did you graduate?
1985

DST a Sham?

Wow, am I ever a bundle of rant today.

I just got an email from the very thoughtful production manager of the theater where we're doing Sound of Music. She was reminding us to set our clocks ahead for Daylight Savings Time, so that we weren't late for Sunday's performance.

It got me thinking. What is Daylight Savings Time anyway? What's it's purpose?

As a kid, I'd always heard that it had something to do with farmers having more sunlight to work. That explanation didn't set right with me though, since farmers are pretty much free to make their own hours from sun up to sun down, regardless of what the clock says.

Daylight Savings Time, ever a controversial concept intended to help reduce energy consumption, was adapted by the United States in 1918, but repealed in 1919. President Woodrow Wilson tried to repeal it... he liked to have that extra daylight time off the office clock to play golf. No joke. DST reared it's head temporarily over the next 50 years, but became standard in 1966.

Recently, a University of California study found that DST actually raises utility bills. According to sources listed in Wikipedia, it not only costs consumers more in utilities, but also creates increased revenue for many buisnesses. I guess that's why, over the years, big businesses, often backed by politicians have supported the continuance of DST, even though it's been proven to be unsuccessful in providing any kind of savings for Americans.

Yes, we'll all grudgingly "spring ahead" this Sunday while we lose an hour of sleep. But next time the question of continuing this practice comes up, let's not let the lobbyists prevail so they can sell more french fries and slurpies.

Who Just Up and Leaves the Work Force?

There are lies, there are damn lies, and there are statistics. It all depends on how you shift and spin the numbers.

In the Labor Department's report released today, the nation's unemployment rolls dropped by .1 percent to 4.8 percent this month, even though employers cut more than 63,000 jobs in February. The highest number of cuts in one month in the past 5 years.

So how did our unemployment rates end up looking better? According to the article in the Star Tribune from the Associated Press:

"The reason why the jobless rate went down, rather than up, is because so many people stopped looking for work and left the labor force."

WHO LEAVES THE LABOR FORCE? Four possible reaons, (1) you're retired (2) you're disabled and unable to work (3) you stay home to care for children, the elderly, or disabled (4) you're dead. A person who is unemployed still needs to pay for a roof over his head, clothes on his back and food in his belly. Those needs do not end with lack of job prospects. In other words, they've just STOPPED COUNTING a bunch of people. Of course, that's going to make the numbers look better.

This isn't unlike the spin doctoring of the Consumer Price Index and other indicators. Check out John Williams' Shadow Government Statistics site for more information. Makes you wonder how bad things really are.

I especially like this quote at the end of the article, "All the economy's troubles are putting people in a gloomy mood."

No shit, Sherlock.

Positive Post #4

Don't pass up this article from Yahoo! sports news. 101-year old Buster Martin, Britain's oldest employee, is training to compete in the London Marathon!

When he finishes the marathon, he plans to celebrate with "a pint and a fag" (that's beer and a cigarette). “People ask what is my secret but I haven’t got one. They say fags and booze are bad for you — but I’m still here, aren’t I?”

Awesome.

Positive Post #3

Did you know that there's an entire website devoted to reporting positive news? It's true! The Good News Network founder and editor began her career in television news and production. She started the site in 1997 to gather and disseminate positive news from around the world.

So when Star Tribune, CNN and other news sources are getting you down, hop over to the Good News Network and remember that there's more out there than just bad news.

Postive Post #2

Good news in the world of AIDS research. Researchers at the University of Alberta have discovered a gene that blocks HIV. They've identified a gene called TRIM22 that can prevent the assembly of the virus.

From the article in the University of Alberta Express News:

"This means that TRIM22 is an essential part of our body's ability to fight off HIV. The results are very exciting because they show that our bodies have a gene that is capable of stopping the spread of HIV."

Hot, Spicy Little Ranger Number

Our friend, Pen Master, sent me this quiz to discover which Dungeons & Dragons character you would be. Thank you, Pen Master, you Lawful Good Human Paladin, you!

I Am A: Neutral Good Human Ranger/Sorcerer (3rd/3rd Level)

Ability Scores:

Strength-13

Dexterity-13

Constitution-14

Intelligence-16

Wisdom-14

Charisma-13

Alignment:
Neutral Good A neutral good character does the best that a good person can do. He is devoted to helping others. He works with kings and magistrates but does not feel beholden to them. Neutral good is the best alignment you can be because it means doing what is good without bias for or against order. However, neutral good can be a dangerous alignment because because it advances mediocrity by limiting the actions of the truly capable.

Race:
Humans are the most adaptable of the common races. Short generations and a penchant for migration and conquest have made them physically diverse as well. Humans are often unorthodox in their dress, sporting unusual hairstyles, fanciful clothes, tattoos, and the like.

Primary Class:
Rangers are skilled stalkers and hunters who make their home in the woods. Their martial skill is nearly the equal of the fighter, but they lack the latter's dedication to the craft of fighting. Instead, the ranger focuses his skills and training on a specific enemy a type of creature he bears a vengeful grudge against and hunts above all others. Rangers often accept the role of protector, aiding those who live in or travel through the woods. His skills allow him to move quietly and stick to the shadows, especially in natural settings, and he also has special knowledge of certain types of creatures. Finally, an experienced ranger has such a tie to nature that he can actually draw on natural power to cast divine spells, much as a druid does, and like a druid he is often accompanied by animal companions. A ranger's Wisdom score should be high, as this determines the maximum spell level that he can cast.

Secondary Class:
Sorcerers are arcane spellcasters who manipulate magic energy with imagination and talent rather than studious discipline. They have no books, no mentors, no theories just raw power that they direct at will. Sorcerers know fewer spells than wizards do and acquire them more slowly, but they can cast individual spells more often and have no need to prepare their incantations ahead of time. Also unlike wizards, sorcerers cannot specialize in a school of magic. Since sorcerers gain their powers without undergoing the years of rigorous study that wizards go through, they have more time to learn fighting skills and are proficient with simple weapons. Charisma is very important for sorcerers; the higher their value in this ability, the higher the spell level they can cast.

Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus (e-mail)

Rest in Peace, Mr. Gygax

No sooner had I done the positive post below, then I saw this article in the Star Tribune.

I'm sorry to report that the co-creator of Dungeons & Dragons, Gary Gygax, died today. Many a gamer will be rolling the dice in his memory tonight.

Think Positive

"Life is what our thoughts make it." -- Marcus Aurelius

As I drifted off to sleep last night, negative thoughts kept rolling through my brain. It's easy to let that happen these days. Discussions with co-workers, friends and family turn into massive bitch sessions about the weather, politics, the state of our country, etc.

I found myself wondering, "Where's the good news?"

I've decided to try a little experiment. Every day, I'll try to post something positive. It could be from the news, my personal life, observations... anything. It just has to be positive.

Granted, this doesn't mean that I'll stop posting rants or general silliness. There will just be something positive in the mix.

Postive Post #1

Famed Tall Ships to Grace Duluth Harbor

Avindair will love this one! August 1-3 in Duluth, three tall ships will be in Duluth Harbor. The Pride of Baltimore II is a recontructed War of 1812-era ship with working cannons. The Niagra, also a recontruction from the same era, has propulsion engines and modern navigation equipment, but no modern amenities. The Madeline, is a reconstructed schooner that sailed the Great Lakes 150 years ago. According to the article, three days of music, entertainment and food with a maritime flavor will ensue. It's a weekend. Mark your calendars!

Public Service

I'm officially sick and tired of being sick and tired. To help myself and readers of this blog, I'm presenting this handy-dandy frustration relief kit. It's not illegal, won't rot your liver, and if you do it right, will result in a temporary, but blissful lack of consciousness.


Thanks to The Crazy Website.

Leap Day Post

Just so I can say that I posted on Leap Day.



Note: I found this image of "Whimsical Leap" on a site called Go Leap. The artist creates these beautiful, colorful sculptures of the body in motion. Worth checking out!

Mini Epiphany

Avindair and I have been doing a lot of thinking about the future lately.

A lot.

America will be undergoing some painful changes in the next decade, politically, economically, socially. Will our jobs last? Will our kids have a future? And so much more. Try to negotiate the waters of future worry with present tense and near-future needs and life dreams - the stuff that keeps one going - and you'll give yourself a massive migraine.

We know we need to simplify - our lives, our work and our possessions. We need to work on our kids, our home and ourselves. We need to find out way out of this climate for our kids, our health and our sanity. We need to reconnect with the things we love... the things that really matter.

We love seeing the world. We love travel. We love connecting with people. We love writing. We love learning.

Yesterday, during one of our increasingly depressing discussions of the world situation, a lightbulb went on. Not one of those little nightlight bulbs... no. But one of those nice, clear 60w babies that are great to read by in your favorite comfy chair. We came up with a great idea. One we are going to take steps to learn about and may ultimately be solution we pursue.

It would mean a big life change. But one for the better. It would mean ridding ourselves of many of the things we've collected over the years. It would leaving many things behind.

...but that wasn't the epiphany. This was.

Yesterday after work, I came home and cooked dinner. It was a simple act, but I enjoyed it, knowing that I was doing something good for my family. I mulled over the big 'ol lightbulb of the day. Weighing the pros and cons of what we were considering and I thought, "What would I rather do? Come to the end of my days knowing that we had traveled the world, making a difference in people's lives by teaching them how to communicate with each other and make the world a better place? Or would I like to be able to say that I held onto this glass jar for 30 years?"

Why allow our possessions to own us, when instead, we could go out and experience the world?

Are they taking applications at the Ministry of Silly Walks?

A tanking U.S. economy and Monty Python. What could they possibly have in common?

British Invasion

I admit it. I've always been a bit of an Anglophile. As a child, I'd adjust the rabbit ears on our old black and white television to get a glimpse of "Monty Python's Flying Circus" coming in from Canada. Four channels, NBC, ABC, CBS and PBS were all I had to choose from, unless I could hijack one of those signals drifting over the border into North Dakota... and it was a heck of a lot funnier than "Gomer Pyle" or "Gilligan's Island".

Bad News

Anyone who reads my blog with any regularity has probably noticed that my posts mostly go to extremes - either very serious or very silly. I'm a pretty low-key person on the outside, but I let things boil in my noggin'. Sometimes that spills out to my blog. When I've just had too much of the bad news, I have to post something silly. Like laughing in the face of danger. Or getting a case of inappropriate giggles at a funeral.

Reading the news lately, I can't even seem to drum up a snort in the face of the charging rhino that is the U.S. economy.

Take today's headlines:

Reports Reflect Bleak Housing Future - "U.S. home prices lost 8.9 percent in the final quarter of 2007, Standard & Poor's said Tuesday, marking a full year of declining values and the steepest drop in the 20-year history of its housing index." "No end in sight."

Home Depot has First Annual Sales Dip - Profits dropped 27.5% in the fourth quarter.

Confidence Plunges, Inflation Rate Soars - I won't even post the numbers on this one. "No good news today on the economic front. Consumer confidence plunged, the wholesale inflation rate soared, the number of homes being foreclosed jumped, home prices fell sharply and a report predicts big increases in health care costs"

Slow Sales Push Target Earnings Down 8.1% - Consumers all over the place are cutting back on discretionary spending. It's not in this article, but in a previous one I read, that people are now using the gift cards they've received for necessities like groceries instead of frivolous items.

Those were the first four news stories in the business section today. I'm not too proud to say that doesn't scare the shit out of me. It's bad. Combine this with the war, our record sky-scraping national debt, unemployment, rising energy costs, poor health care... we're in trouble.

That's when my wonderful Avindair sent this goodie my way. It was written just after Dubya was "re-elected" for his second term. Personally, I think Mr.Cleese has a point. Would someone pass me the Shepherd's Pie? I'll have my CV ready shortly.

A Message from John Cleese

To: The citizens of the United States of America:

In light of your failure to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).

Your new prime minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.

A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.

1. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix -ize will be replaced by the suffix -ise.

Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').

3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as 'like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.

There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize. You will relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen.

4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent.

Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

7. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. Holden Monaro's are also approved.

8. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

9. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) - roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

11. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting Nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

12. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

13. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). Don't try Rugby - the South Africans and Kiwis will thrash you, like they regularly thrash us.

14. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America . Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

15. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

16. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

17. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; strawberries in season.

God save the Queen..

John Cleese

AUGH! RUN! It's the 70's!

Thanks to MonkeyDude for torturing us with the piece of 70's memorabilia.

The Next Gen of Trekkies are... Cute!

Lottery for a Home

A place to hang your hat. A roof over your head. A safe place for your children to sleep at night.

For thousands in the Twin Cities area, it feels like a pipe dream.

I just read this article in the Star Tribune, Looking for a place to call home in Plymouth. Over two days, about 3,700 people took applications for Section 8 housing in Plymouth, hoping to be one of the 300 drawn in a waiting list lottery. Last year, the Metropolitan Council received 25,000 requests for just 5,000 spots. In 2006, one in eight Minnesotans spent half of their household income on housing alone. Affordable housing is hard to find.

Our house may not be perfect. The furnace is old and inefficient. The windows let in wind and little rain on occasion. The air conditioner is probably on its last legs. It could use a paint job. It isn't one of the giant McMansions sprouting up in suburb after suburb. Years ago we could have stretched our budget and bought a bigger, newer house - but we wanted something that, if tough times came again, we could afford on one salary. No. It's not perfect, but it's safe and it's warm and I give thanks that we can rest easy there.

My heart, hopes and prayers go out to all of those people, waiting for a home.

Two Feel-Good Businesses

One I've experienced, one I have not.

First, the Purple Crayon Factory. I first met Teresa Thomas-Carroll, the director and founder of Purple Crayon Factory, through a business women's networking group. It's rare and refreshing to meet someone who is as enthusiastic about their work as she is. PCF's workshops bring a creative approach to self-reflection, realization of goals, stress management, life balance and much more. Check out her website and workshops!

The second was a link I followed from Teresa's PCF newsletter today, HOURCAR. Have you ever come across a business idea so incredible that you wish you'd thought of it? HOURCAR is a car-sharing membership for the Twin Cities. Not a service for suburbanites, like myself, but great for people living in the middle of the metro. Instead of owning a car and having loan payments, insurance payments, maintenance, fuel, garage, etc., members pay an affordable monthly membership fee, plus hourly use and mileage for just the hours they use the car. Plus, all of the cars in their fleet are gas-electric hybids. What a great idea!

Happy Lupercalia! Um, I Mean... Valentine's Day!

Over the years, my interest has waned in "Hallmark" holidays. You know the ones. The holidays that really only serve to fill the coffers of greeting card companies, florists and chocolatiers. My husband shows me he loves me every day of the year... why do I need a card and roses to remind me again on February 14?

However, the "love holiday" has been around for much longer than Hallmark. Most people think of Saint Valentine of the Catholic church. What most people don't realize is that the church recognizes at least three saints by that name, and all stories related to them are legend.

The other school of thought is that the church created the holiday in their effort to convert pagans celebrating the ancient purification and fertility festival of Lupercalia. This Roman festival began at the ides of February... that's February 15, folks. It honored the founders of Rome, Romulus and Remus, who were raised by a she-wolf or lupa. As the beginning of spring, the rite also honored Faunus, the god of agriculture. Thus, the whole fertility angle.

My money's on Lupercalia as the true origin of the holiday. If you'd like to celebrate in a more traditional way than chocolate and roses, here are a few steps you can take:

1. Sweep the house.
2. Sprinkle salt and spelt on the floors.
3. Sacrifice a goat* (for ferility) and a dog* (for purity).
4. Gently slap all the women you see with bloody strips of goathide.

Of course, this doesn't mean that I'm not a romantic. I just don't think my husband needs to shower me with gifts to show me he loves me. I'm still a romantic at heart, especially where it comes to literature and poetry. Here are a few quotes about love from history.com.

My bounty is as boundless as the sea, My love as deep; the more I give to thee, The more I have, for both are infinite. -- William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward in the same direction.-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Love does not dominate; it cultivates.-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Stop by the the History Channel website for an abbreviated history of Valentine's Day and other non-fattening Valentine's goodies.

* This blog in no way condones the sacrifice of any animals. This is a JOKE, people.

Arise, My Friend

Soon the rebellion will be crushed and Young Skywalker will be one of us!

Ew?

Admission to the zoo: $15
Stroller rental: $10
Seeing your child lick a pig's nose: Priceless

(Thanks to my son, MonkeyDude, for the link to the picture AND the commentary!)

How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?

It all started back in October with the mother of bad auditions.

With one hour's notice, Avindair, our daughter and I decided to audition for the Lyric Arts production of "The Sound of Music".

"Don't do "I Dreamed a Dream", it's depressing."

I glanced doubtfully at the sheet music for "Popular" from Wicked, then back to Tony.

"But at least I know all of the words," I explained. "I don't know the words to "Popular"."

He grinned confidently, "Sure you do! You'll do fine."

Within seconds of walking into the audition, I'd forgotten the words and restarted "Popular" three times. Somehow I was sure it had lost it's charm with the director along the way.

Good thing was, I wasn't worried. This wasn't like auditions in the past, when I'd agonized over what song or monologue to use, and practiced over and over. This was done on a lark. I went in with a happy-go-lucky attitude. I smiled, joked at my own ineptitude, and pushed on through the restarts.

Finally, I thought, they'd had enough.

"What's the top of your range?"

"Man, I don't even know any more. It's been awhile since I've done a musical. And as you can tell, I'm not exactly prepared today!"

They asked me to sing a few scales to find the highest of my high notes, thanked me for my time and ushered me out.

Avindair's audition went well. He glided through "Eidelweiss" with the greatest of ease. Our daughter -- well, it was her first ever audition. She didn't really know the song well, but she handled it with absolute poise.

A few days later, Tony and I had both been offered roles; me as Sister Margaretta and Avindair as part of the men's ensemble. Our daughter wasn't cast, but she was wasn't terribly disappointed. As the weeks of rehearsal went on, I was glad she hadn't been. Musicals can be grueling... doubly-so if you're a kid and it's your first show.

Now, after many weeks, we're nearly there. "The Sound of Music" at the Lyric Arts Main Street Stage in Anoka, MN opens this Friday, February 15 and runs through March 16. Many of the shows are already sold out, but as of today, you can still get tickets for the following dates: February 16, 17 & 24, March 1, 2, 6, 9, 13, 15 and 16.

If you REALLY love "The Sound of Music", join us for the March 12 "Lyrics Out Loud" performance and sing-along with the cast!

So, if you enjoy "The Sound of Music"; if you enjoy the company of community theater-goers; if you want to see Avindair and Geek Goddess do their first musical in *cough**cough* years, get your tickets now!

Cool! I Be Willow.

Needed a lighter diversion. Found this by way of the Magic Marmot!

Which Buffy the Vampire Slayer Character Are You?

Created by BuddyTV

Record Profits While Granny Shivers

In the news today, Exxon Mobil is enjoying record profits. $40.6 billion.

Meanwhile, freaking VENEZUELA is helping more than 200,000 low-income American families in 23 states. By the end of this winter, they will have donated 100 million gallons (worth about $200 million) to struggling families that would have otherwise had to choose between eating and being warm.

Way to go Exxon. I hope your execs choke on their Chteau Petrus and Beluga Caviar while celebrating.

Will Insurers of 35W Victims Cash In?

SUBROGATION is the word that worries survivors of the 35W bridge collapse and their attorneys. Are you familiar with it?

sub·ro·ga·tion
1 : an equitable doctrine holding that when a third party pays a creditor or obligee the third party succeeds to the creditor's rights against the debtor or obligor; also : a doctrine holding that when an insurance company pays an insured's claim of loss due to another's tort the insurer succeeds to the insured's rights (as the right to sue for damages) against the tortfeasor called also equitable subrogation
2 : an act or instance of subrogating
NOTE: Subrogation can take place either by operation of law or by contractual agreement.
Merriam-Webster's Dictionary of Law at dictionary.com.

I'll give it to you in laymen's terms.

Say you're driving along the highway. A large semi is in front of you. All of a sudden, the doors at the back of the semi swing open, spilling boxes onto the highway. Your car is hit, you swerve and your car rolls. You end up in the hospital with multiple injuries. You're out of work for months and will have to endure many months more of physical therapy. Your insurance pays most of the medical expenses.

At least the company that owned the semi is paying you compensation for pain and suffering. It's a good thing. You didn't know how you were going to get by. You get paid a reasonable settlement.

This is where subrogation steps in. If your insurance falls under federal regulations your insurance company can lay claims to your settlement. They can require that you repay them out of your settlement money.

That's the problem that's wracking the brains and legal knowledge of Minnesota state representatives and attorneys for the 35W bridge victims. They want to compensate them, but they don't want it to go to the insurance companies, waiting like sharks in the bloody waters below.

So... not only do health insurance companies charge you through the nose, refuse to pay for preventative and necessary treatments, and drop you for sneezing the wrong way - now they can take your settlements as repayment, too.

Sick. Absolutely sick.

Read the Star Tribune article, "Will insurers go after 35W bridge victims' awards?" by Pam Louwagie that got me ranting at 700am.

Smile Time

I've been home sick today... and probably will be tomorrow. Time for silly blog post. I snatched these little funbies from MagicMarmot.

Nymphy-nymph-nymph (say that 3 times fast)





What type of Fae are you?

Singy-sing-sing (okay - THAT I can say 3 times)





Find your Celestial Choir

On Thin Ice

I'm having one of those distracted-by-bright-and-shiney-objects kind of days. Work has been a bit of bitch goddess lately, demanding far more of my brain-share than I can offer her. Eventually something breaks down. For me, this comes in the form of "Ooooo - look over THERE!"

Today I got an email through the Star Tribune, promoting the latest Disney on Ice production. Does this strike you as funny as it struck me?



Yes, folks... dancing tropical fish ON ICE!

Child: "Mommy? Why isn't Nemo moving any more?"
Mom: "Remember those fish that Daddy brought back from the lake? The ones in our freezer?"
Child: "Yeah?"
Mom: "Well... let's just say he'll go really well with coleslaw."

Jonathan Coulton, I Love You

Okay, Trees... I lied. I found this linked off of Wil Wheaton's blog today and I had to post it.

Jonathon Coulton of "Code Monkey" fame rants in his blog about negative online commentors. I think the phrase "chicken-shit cockhole" will be a permanent part of my vocabulary from now on. Awesome.

Lutheran Upbringing Gone Terribly Awry

All those Wednesday confirmation classes down the drain. One would never guess how active I used to be in the church by how I rated on this little quiz. All I can say is it's pretty darn accurate.

Thanks to Magic Marmot, from whom I stole this!

Your Results:

The top score on the list below represents the faith that Belief-O-Matic, in its less than infinite wisdom, thinks most closely matches your beliefs. However, even a score of 100% does not mean that your views are all shared by this faith, or vice versa.

Belief-O-Matic then lists another 26 faiths in order of how much they have in common with your professed beliefs. The higher a faith appears on this list, the more closely it aligns with your thinking.

How did the Belief-O-Matic do?

1. Neo-Pagan (100%)
2. New Age (95%)
3. Unitarian Universalism (94%)
4. Liberal Quakers (78%)
5. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (71%)
6. Mahayana Buddhism (70%)
7. Secular Humanism (68%)
8. New Thought (66%)
9. Theravada Buddhism (66%)
10. Reform Judaism (63%)
11. Scientology (61%)
12. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (52%)
13. Taoism (52%)
14. Sikhism (46%)
15. Hinduism (45%)
16. Orthodox Quaker (44%)
17. Nontheist (43%)
18. Bahá'í Faith (42%)
19. Jainism (40%)
20. Orthodox Judaism (34%)
21. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (30%)
22. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (26%)
23. Islam (25%)
24. Seventh Day Adventist (21%)
25. Eastern Orthodox (17%)
26. Roman Catholic (17%)
27. Jehovah's Witness (10%)

Where's My Brian Been?

Occasionally, I have times in my life when I'm certain that Igor has handed over the Abby Normal brain to Gene Wilder to install in my cranium.

This is one of those times.

I have a confession to make. I forgot that my parents were coming this weekend. I forgot to tell my husband that my parents were coming this weekend. In the land of married couples and in-laws, I have broken Ape Law.

Granted, we've been so preoccupied lately that I'm surprised I remember to wipe, much less anything else. I keep four (yes, count'em... FOUR) calendars updated so I can find out where I'm supposed to be at any given time. But sometimes, things slip through the cracks.

This was a mighty big crack. (insert lame joke here)

Top 3 Good Things:
1. My parents are staying in a hotel this time. Yes, I love having them stay at the house and I hate having them incur the additional expense, but sometimes space is a good thing.
2. My house will get clean before they come. In fact, with my mother, it will probably be even more clean when they leave.
3. The kids will get time with their grandparents.

Top 3 Bad Things:
1. I have to find time this week to clean my house.
2. My garage clutter is embarrassing.
3. I haven't even taken down my Christmas decorations yet.

So... I'm off to make my oh-my-god-my-parents-will-be-here-in-2-days to-do list. If I'm not back in a week, send a search party.

United States Ranks Dead Last

Regular readers of Rhapsody know, the state of our nation's healthcare system is a hot-button subject for me. An article I read in Yahoo! News this morning is a much-needed slap in the face to all those who espouse the "evils" of socialized medicine.

Guess what? Socialized medicine is kicking our U.S. healthcare asses!

Fucking, duh.

Normally, I'd just link to the article. But this one is important enough that I'm posting the entire thing. Read on.

France is healthcare leader, US comes dead last: study

WASHINGTON (AFP) - France is tops, and the United States dead last, in providing timely and effective healthcare to its citizens, according to a survey Tuesday of preventable deaths in 19 industrialized countries.

The study by the Commonwealth Fund and published in the January/February issue of the journal Health Affairs measured developed countries' effectiveness at providing timely and effective healthcare.

The study, entitled "Measuring the Health of Nations: Updating an Earlier Analysis," was written by researchers from the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine. It looked at death rates in subjects younger than 75 that could have been prevented by timely and effective medical care.

The researchers found that while most countries surveyed saw preventable deaths decline by an average of 16 percent, the United States saw only a four percent dip.

The non-profit Commonwealth Fund, which financed the study, expressed alarm at the findings.

"It is startling to see the US falling even farther behind on this crucial indicator of health system performance," said Commonwealth Fund Senior Vice President Cathy Schoen, who noted that "other countries are reducing these preventable deaths more rapidly, yet spending far less."

The 19 countries, in order of best to worst, were: France, Japan, Australia, Austria, Canada, Denmark, Finland, Germany, Greece, Ireland, Italy, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Portugal, Spain, Sweden, the United Kingdom and the United States.

Some countries showed dramatic improvement in the periods studied -- 1997 and 1998 and again between 2002 and 2003 -- outpacing the United States, which showed only slight improvement.

White the United States ranked 15th of 19 between 1997-98, by 2002-03 it had fallen to last place.

"It is notable that all countries have improved substantially except the US," said Ellen Nolte, lead author of the study.

Had the United States performed as well as any of the top three industrialized countries, there would have been 101,000 fewer deaths per year, the researchers said.

Mommy? Where do baby-cut carrots come from?

Silly, I know, but I've always wondered. What was the genesis of the baby-cut carrot? Thanks to Wikipedia, I now know.

And so do you!

New Year's Meme

I know, I know. Not terribly original, but here it is. I haven't written in a few days and something silly usually gives me a jump-start. Here's to a Happy New Year, everyone!

1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
- Had a movie premiere at a real theater for Stone Soup
- Saw Space Shuttle launch
- Taped my own piece of video and helped edit it
- Traveled by train
- Participated in the Minnesota AIDS Walk
- Saw my son in a high school musical
- Went through the Pompeii exhibit at the Science Museum
- Started playing golf

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I usually don't make resolutions. I just continue trying as best I can to improve myself in some way.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Someone who used to be close, yes. A friend of the family from my younger years.

5. What countries did you visit?
In Florida I was close to Cuba. I don't suppose that counts, though.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
- Greater peace of mind
- Breathing room
- Time for taking care of the home front

7. What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I'm bad with exact dates, but there are two: the Pray for Daylight premiere and the Space Shuttle launch.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting a job with a good company and a good boss.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not spending enough time improving the house.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Little stuff. Nothing major.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My iMac. Best computer purchase yet.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
- My husband: for reconciliations with family and perseverence at work.
- My son: for focus on his goals, development of his skills, and achievement in an entirely new arena.
- My daughter: for her determination to improve her grades and give her beautiful hair to Locks of Love.
- My mother: for having the courage to accept her limits and begin to live her life more fully.
- A friend: who's been through hell and back, taken the responsibility for his actions, and his putting his life back together.

13. Whose behavior appalled and depressed you?
- Former friends
- Our government and leaders
- The TSA
- A majority of the American public

14. Where did most of your money go?
Technology and travel.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
- My job
- The movie premiere
- The Space Shuttle launch
- Visiting my in-laws (no joke!)
- Seeing Sir Ian McKellan
- Seeing Spamalot
- Seeing my son in his FIRST high school show
- Finding old friends online

16. What songs will always remind you of 2007?
That's a tough one. I really don't know that until I'm past 2007 and hear a song that ends up reminding me of it.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. Happier or sadder?
Happier. Definitely. More content.

ii. Thinner or fatter?
About the same.

iii. Richer or poorer?
In cash or in things that are really important? Friends, love, security, family... richer.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
- Working on the house
- Spending time outside
- Being with my family

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
- Being on the computer (work and play)
- Worrying (job search)
- Being angry over things I had no control over

20. How did you spend Christmas?
Quietly with my husband and kids... playing Rock Band, playing board games, watching movies.

22. Did you fall in love in 2007?
365 times... with my husband.

23. How many one-night stands?
ZEEE-RO.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
I think Doctor Who topped the list.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Interesting question. There are definitely those that I dislike, am disappointed in, or am baffled by reasoning, behavior, or choices.

26. What was the best book you read?
The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
There was none this year, unless you count rediscovering old favorites.

28. What did you want and get?
- More travel
- Seeing family

28. What did you want and not get?
- Travel to Europe
- Our passports
- A better job for Avindair

30. What was your favourite film of this year?
On the fun side, Hot Fuzz.
On the serious side, Sicko.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
On my actual birthday day, had a nice dinner with my husband and kids. I turned 41.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Having the freedom to be in charge of my own schedule -- when to work, when to play.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
Me.

34. What kept you sane?
My husband and kids, my dog, getting outdoors.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Whom did I "fancy"? I don't think I'd go that far. There are those whose work I enjoy or I think are attractive, but "fancy"? Not so much.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Health care

37. Whom did you miss?
- Family
- Penmaster and Raven
- Uncle Dale

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Not a clue.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007:
Say goodbye to people and situations that are a destructive influence. Life's too short.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"Always look on the bright side of life."

I Am The Geek Goddess. Kneel Before Me!

	I received 92 credits on The Sci Fi Sounds Quiz How much of a Sci-Fi geek are you?
Take the Sci-Fi Movie Quizdigital camera ratings

King Arthur vs Amazon

In March of this year, I posted a review of a touring production of Camelot starring Michael York. My comments weren't exactly favorable.

Oh, who am I kidding? If I could have, I would have stood outside the theater a la "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" screaming, "Run away! Run away!"

Back to my point. After the show... that very night as I returned from the Ordway... from Amazon I ordered a DVD copy of the 1982 Broadway version starring Richard Harris as it had been broadcast on HBO.


That was in March 2008, folks.

Over the past nine months, Amazon has notified me no less than three times that release of the DVD had been pushed back again and again. The last time, about two weeks ago, the availability date was set at February 2008. I was aggravated, but what other choice did I have?

Last week I was on Amazon doing a bit of last minute Christmas shopping. Amazon's a great place for reasonable prices on DVDs (and I'm trying to avoid shopping at Best Buy). When what to my wondering eyes should appear but... Camelot... IN STOCK.

Wha-huh?

I quickly checked my pending orders. Camelot... the very same one... was still listed in my pending orders with an availability/ship date of February 2008.

Huh.

I cancelled my original order from March 2007. Placed a brand-spanking new order for the very same DVD. And it shipped the same day. New orders being fulfilled before orders that were several months old. Perhaps it was a glitch in the system, but it sure honked me off.

Good news is that we'll FINALLY be able to show the kids a production of Camelot, with a GOOD Arthur. Nine months late, but better late than never. I know what WE'RE doing Christmas Eve!

Leavin' on that Midnight Train

I have an alert set up at Travelocity. Whenever flight prices drop to a few key cities, including my home town, I get an email. I was just informed that the price dropped from $330 to $290. I'm not sure if that's a bargain or highway robbery.

One thing's for certain... it's not a train robbery.

(EDITORIAL NOTE: Worst. Segueway. Ever.)

A couple of weeks ago, my daughter, Sporty Girl, and I went on our first ever, long distance train ride. Even with a few mechanical breakdowns and delays which brought us to our destination seven hours late, it was well worth it.

The trains from St Paul to/from Grand Forks run at odd times for most people. We had to depart from St Paul near 11pm and depart from Grand Forks at almost 1am. A little inconvenient, yes, but not a show stopper, by any means.

Why Tracks are Better than Airways

1. Cost - The round trip coach price for one adult and one child was a whopping $141. Compare that to Northwest Airlines coach for the same period - $660 (not counting taxes and airport fees, so closer to $700).

2. Space - We've all dealt with coach seating in the run-of-the-mill jumbo passenger aircraft. It's like traveling in a sardine can with all the accompanying charm. Coach seats on Amtrak were extraordinarily roomy and comfortable by comparison. If I stretched my legs out straight I barely touched the seat in front of me... and I have long legs. And no, you didn't get crowded when the seats reclined.

3. Comfort - Speaking of reclining. You could lay your seat back, lift a leg rest, lift a foot rest, put the complimentary pillow behind your head and be totally comfy. Our last airline trip charged you $1 to use their pillow.

4. Movement - Unless the train was about to come to a stop at the station, you could move about freely from seat to seat, level to level, car to car. No seatbelts. No assigned seats. No stowing your bags above or under your seat.

5. Security - I felt quite safe traveling alone with my daughter and not ONCE were my bags searched, xrayed or swabbed. We didn't have to walk through metal detectors and take off our shoes. I didn't have to get patted down and treated like a criminal. I showed my ID, showed our tickets, and took a seat. Both coming and going, I stood in line for perhaps a total of 15 minutes.

6. Luggage - Don't want to wait at tortuous luggage-go-round? Take the train! Luggage allowances were more than generous for the two of us (2 suitcases and one carry on per person). A checked luggage option is available for long distances or heavy packers.

7. Peace of Mind - Even though, as I said, we encountered some lengthy mechanical problems (7 hours-worth of delay), I was happy as a clam. Really. Unless you're in a big hurry, where's the bad? You're on the ground, not in the air. You're in roomy seating, not crammed into an assigned seat with no elbow room between Chatty Kathy and Mr. Halitosis. At the very worst, they send another train for you.

8. Relaxing vs Rushing - I used to love to fly before the 9/11 "security" bullshit began. Traveling by air went from fun and exciting to hours of paranoia inducing stress. Have trouble in the security line? Get delayed at the ticket counter? Miss your flight? You're screwed, Buster. Miss your train? Take the next one. Then open a book or kick back and take a nap when you get on board.

9. Food - Not every train has a dining car, but ours did. The food was great and worth the price... equivalent to a meal at a chain restaurant... like Perkins. It also had a lounge car where you could buy food and eat there or carry back to your seat.

10. Employees / Riders - Friendly. To a one. I was able to easily strike up lovely conversations with other riders. Employees were courteous and helpful. It was a real pleasure.

I've never come home from traveling so relaxed and refreshed. Nothing like the frazzled airline travel we've experience of late.

A few negative points to consider. To ride the train, you have to have time. They don't run as frequently as planes, and it takes much longer to reach your destination. A trip may take you days instead of hours. Pets, with the exception of animals that assist the disabled, are forbidden to ride. Also, short runs are cheap, but very long runs, especially if you get a sleeper car, can be as pricey as plane flights or more (but your meals are included - not extra). But if you need to stay on the cheap, coach seats are just fine to snooze in.

All in all, whenever I have the option, the train is the way to go! I can hardly wait to climb on board again!

D & D & Me

It's no secret by now that today is a government day at work. After the "Video Project from Hell", I needed to kick back. No. I really don't have the time for it, but my mind needed to grab a magazine and go take a long mental crap. I'll tell you about the "Video Project from Hell" later. I promise.

I Am A: Neutral Good Human Ranger (6th Level)


Ability Scores:

Strength-13
Dexterity-15
Constitution-15
Intelligence-16
Wisdom-14
Charisma-12

Alignment:Neutral Good A neutral good character does the best that a good person can do. He is devoted to helping others. He works with kings and magistrates but does not feel beholden to them. Neutral good is the best alignment you can be because it means doing what is good without bias for or against order. However, neutral good can be a dangerous alignment because because it advances mediocrity by limiting the actions of the truly capable.

Race:Humans are the most adaptable of the common races. Short generations and a penchant for migration and conquest have made them physically diverse as well. Humans are often unorthodox in their dress, sporting unusual hairstyles, fanciful clothes, tattoos, and the like.

Class:Rangers are skilled stalkers and hunters who make their home in the woods. Their martial skill is nearly the equal of the fighter, but they lack the latter's dedication to the craft of fighting. Instead, the ranger focuses his skills and training on a specific enemy a type of creature he bears a vengeful grudge against and hunts above all others. Rangers often accept the role of protector, aiding those who live in or travel through the woods. His skills allow him to move quietly and stick to the shadows, especially in natural settings, and he also has special knowledge of certain types of creatures. Finally, an experienced ranger has such a tie to nature that he can actually draw on natural power to cast divine spells, much as a druid does, and like a druid he is often accompanied by animal companions. A ranger's Wisdom score should be high, as this determines the maximum spell level that he can cast.

Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus(e-mail)

I Otter Know Better

Your Score: The Otter

Here's your results! Your spirit animal has a Nobility ranking of 11 out of 18.

Your spirit animal is the otter. Playful, curious and fun animals, they are truly the start of what can be considered a noble creature. Otters are good at figuring things out, and make great friends. You are lucky to have one as a spirit animal. Otters are fairly rare as spirit animals.

Link: The What is Your Spirit Animal Test written by FindingEros on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Smart Drivers DO Exist!

I found proof on the road today that smart drivers exist when I spotted this bumper sticker:

On the other end of the bumper was another gem that I still can't find an image of. In parody of the "got milk?" adds it read "got photons?"

Awesome. And the driver even used his turn signal! Wow!

Does Anyone Fall for This Stuff?

I got a very special email this morning. I wanted to share it with everyone!

*******
From: Fletcher Lawrence
Subject: special depth that true

to learn how those

Good afternoon. Doing good? Email me at ihm@ShineBal.info only. By the way, I am a girl. Hope you will like my pictures.
has a from their "I truly believe district if you want.
ihm@ShineBal.info
*******

This one didn't get caught by the spam filter. The "From" email address (I removed the user name since it looked real) is real -- FYI North Idaho, a tourist guide website.

So, really. Tell me. Are there actually people out there who fall for this stuff?

I Don't Drink Alone... Much

100%ALCOHOLIC

Sunday is USELESS BLOG POST DAY at the SIZZLER!

For the record, I'm not an alcoholic, just a trivia buff. Little pieces of knowledge get wedged in my brain to pull out for moments such as these.

Some Material May Not Be Suitable For Children

I picked this link up from CubeZoo.

I got a PG rating based on the presence of the following words:
shit (2x) and drugs (1x)

I know that the drug reference was about PRESCRIPTION drugs, so obviously, it doesn't take context into consideration.

A PG rating doesn't have much clout. Guess I'm going to have to start throwing around the effinheimer or something and bring it up to R.

**Quick Note**
If you grab this cool little thing, it contains an extra link to some online dating service for Washington D.C. Yeah, I removed it. Not looking for a date in Washington, thanks.

Pimping Klingons

If you do not attend A Klingon Christmas Carol on December 8, you have NO HONOR!

ONE PERFORMANCE ONLY! Come one, come all, as my friends at Commedia Beauregard and the IKV RakeHell present this holiday classic in the original Klingon. Fun for adults, kids, Star Trek nerds, Vulcans, Andorians, and people who've never even HEARD of Star Trek.

WHERE?
University of Minnesota Saint Paul Student Center Theater
2017 Buford Avenuve
Saint Paul, MN 55108

WHEN?
Show starts at 7:30 p.m.

BUT WAIT - THERE'S MORE
Silent Auction at 6:30 p.m. and even more entertainment!

Vote Smart!

I've been doing my best to avoid the political brouhaha. We're down to, what? 17,000 candidates or so?

With elections less than one year away, I've finally decided to turn my attention to the fetid muck and mire that is our Presidential election process.

I don't want to have to wade through the hip-deep bovine feces spouted from candidates, supporters, the media, and pundits alike. So I looked online for a place to find non-biased, no-nonsense information. Just the facts. So I can make up my own mind.

I found Project Vote Smart, (www.vote-smart.org). It's non-partisan, takes no money from special interest groups, takes no money from corporations, PACs or any organization that supports or opposes any candidates or issues. 90% of the researchers are volunteers - receiving no pay - and the small staff receives minimal pay to cover living expenses.

They cover every candidate from local government up to President providing:

Voting Records

Biographical and Contact Information

Issue Positions (called the Political Courage Test - check out Pawlenty's rating here... ouch)

Interest Group Ratings

Public Statements

Campaign Finanaces

This isn't all. There's so much more.

So if you're weary, like I am, of trying to separate the political wheat from the chaff, check them out!

AUGH! Give Me the Clam Juice!

First, 10 points to anyone who can tell me where that quote came from.

No, Avindair. Not you. I know you know it.

As usual, I was in a hurry this morning. I realized that my Amy's Organic Palak Paneer frozen meal was still in my freezer when I was about 10 miles down the road to work. So, I made a quick stop at Cub to pick up another. They'd just rearranged the frozen foods and Amy's stuff was no where to be found.

Kashi. Hmmm.



I liked thier cereal pretty well. It's organic. Lots of good stuff for me. Lots of vitamins and fiber.

What the hell? I purchased the box of Kashi Chicken Florentine and was on my merry way.

What the hell, indeed.

As it heated in the breakroom microwave, my first thought was, "My, what an interesting new smell I've discovered."

You know how sometimes foods have a really terrible smell, but taste great? This was not one of those times.

I was hungry. I'm busy. I seriously wondered if I could manage to eat my food while holding my nose. Instead, I decided to just embrace the pain, chow down, and vow never to buy it again.

It is done. My stomach is full. I have the vague, unsettling taste of garlic and tree bark in my mouth. Now I need to see if there's any Clam Juice or battery acid in the breakroom vending machine to wash it down and cleanse my palate.

Oh, Shit. I Gotta Hunt Another Vampire?

Ann Coulter's Beauty Secret

There You Are

Holiday weekends were meant for silly stuff, and my blog is no exception!

Your Score: Buckaroo Banzai

150 Heart, 158 Genius, 155 Cool, 131 Excitability

Buckaroo Banzai - (Peter Weller)

The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension (1984)


You are Buckaroo Banzai! Hard-rockin' neurosurgeon, brilliant scientist, and all-around cool guy. Maybe you didn't have the cinematic success of some of the other guys here, but it's okay - you're a cult classic!

"Hey, hey, hey. Don't be mean. We don't have to be mean because, remember, no matter where you go, there you are."


Other scientific possibilities:


Gary Wallace

Wyatt Donnelly

Peter Venkman

Jordan Cochran

Egon Spengler

Doc Brown

Newton Crosby

Paul Stephens

Ben Crandall

Wayne Szalinkski

Winston Zeddemore

Ben Jabituya

Lazlo Hollyfeld

Ray Stantz

Buckaroo Banzai

Chris Knight

Link: The Which 80s Movie Scientist Test written by xxyl on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test